|
Close friend is a girl; started avoiding me
I have a problem with a serious office crush in the office. I was smitten by her since she has this bubbly and friendly personality that you can ever asked for. She always smile to most people she see in the office and she is the talkative type of person. Sad to say she already has a boyfriend in which I am aware of.
Basically, we often meet in the hallways of the office or in our respective departments doing our business; a simple "Hi" and "Hello" everytime we meet would suffice and I've always thought that my feelings for her would grow. At first, I told myself that I will never be friends to an awesome girl like her. And usually I would already feel satisfied even if I just see a glimpse of her.
I had a chance to got her number due to a meeting that we happen to be seatmates. After which, we became casual friends. Since I am in the I.T department I would do her some favors with her work and she would always reply it with a simple Thanks! This kept going for 4 months and she had told me that we are "BFF". Nothing serious happened through our friendship and I never jumped-in with my feelings but rather take everything as workload.
Then April came. I had to happen to eat lunch in our company's cafeteria. I usually go out at lunch with my friend but due to my friend's busy schedule I was forced to dine inside. I was there eating and it happened that she always ate there with her department workmates. She was surprised I was eating there and was happy with my company. By that time, I thought to myself why not lunch everyday at the office? And soon I knew it I was reserving seats for her and that was the start of everything. A crush that I never thought of becoming to fruition became a dream. We were close buds and during lunch breaks we were the only two talking about which left her 2 other companions out of place. We never ran out of topics and she always trusts me about everything.
I was always there for her like giving her mdicines when she is sick, giving her advice to just about everything.
Our closeness with each other grew by the day. And she said to her friends that she was really "comfortable" with me. We had times that we would talk and hide in some dark place in the office.
Fast forward this July. We were so happy with each other's company and by the next day she suddenly became cold. I don't know what happened. I tried to retrace back my steps. Maybe there is something I said that might just gone overboard like spilling my feelings for her? I still couldn't believe she would suddenly give me the cold shoulder. By now, we still go out with lunch but she is not that bubbly self of hers and would always turn me down on a conversation starter by giving a two worded replied. I tried texting her what's the problem and she wouldn't reply. Maybe because of her boyfriend? Or do you think she doesn't wan't to take our friendship to another level?
Although I gave her something on her birthday, and on ordinary days like chocolates or favors that I can do but I never told her that I like her or I loved her. But my actions are doing opposite. I'm still in limbo right now and I still can't get my head straight on why she is treating me like that.
Sorry for the long post..
Confused.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
There are a lot of possibilities here but just what happened is impossible to say without her side of the story. IT may very well be that you did nothing more than you have always done but something on her side changed. Her boyfriend may have heard about you two of her girlfriends could have told her you have feelings beyond BFF's. Maybe there is trouble in paradise with her boyfriend and she is confused.
I would say at this point you have nothing to lose and everything to gain by being straight with her. At lunch tell her straight you miss your bubbly friend. That if you did something to upset her you would like to apologize. Tell her you do have feelings for her and you know when is in a relationship so you would never intrude on that relationship without a signal from her that she is open to an advance by you.
Tell her how much you have enjoyed the lunches you spend together and ask how do we get back to them. What does she need from you so that you and she can enjoy a lunch hour together without this cloud over the two of you.
Depending on just what the problem is there are a lot of answers that she can come back with. There is one though that could be a trick question that you have to be ready for. Which is, "Do you love me?"
Your answer to this question has to be middle of the road because you don't know why she is asking it. I would reply, "I have feelings for you yes. Do I love you, I think we could be in a love relationship if we took this relationship to the next level and started seeing each other outside the office. You are the type of person it wouldn't be hard to fall in love with and I have all the right feelings to fall in love with you I'm just not there yet."
]
More Questions: |