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Why am I terrible at keeping friends and functioning in groups?


Question Posted Tuesday August 2 2016, 9:05 am

When I was younger I'd be depressed about not having friends, and now, as a young adult, I tend to shun communicating with other people, even family members I love. I just enjoy solitude more. Having friends and even the notion of being in love just seems only fictional, something that will always be out of grasp for me. I feel more self assured now, but hate the control I allow my emotions to have over me sometimes, because my emotions only lead to ruin

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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?


Danicus answered Tuesday August 2 2016, 3:12 pm:
I also enjoy solitude. People think there's something wrong with me cause I like the solitude. You're probably just an introvert. There's nothing wrong with that. People are different.

One good way of dealing with your emotions is to accept full responsibility for them. Accept that they are your own reaction and that you are %100 responsible for them. Not the people or situation that is bringing up those emotions.

For example: I have this friend that's awesome sometimes but a horrible horrible person at other times. Needless to say, she pissed me off beyond belief sometimes. When I accepted full responsibility, it meant that it was my own doing for her to treat me bad because despite her being a *****, I still hung out with her. It was on me.

Another example is people disappointing me. It was my own doing because I created expectations. They didn't live up to my expectation and THAT's what's causing me to react, not so much what they did or didn't do. I've even had to go as far as accepting responsibility for creating the expectation that the person that pissed me off was a decent human being. And it worked and my emotions subsided.

A really good book to not react to people or situations is "the 4 agreements". The second agreement is "Don't take anything personally." The 3rd agreement is "Don't assume". You can see why these agreements are invaluable in stopping the surge of negative emotions from rising to the surface. If you don't take anything personally and don't assume, there won't be emotions to have to control, because you stop them before they become a problem. That coupled with taking %100 responsibility will work wonders for you. Or anyone, really.

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