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I want to know what will happen of I admit to hearing Hods voice communicate with me in my head and that I have psychic dreams about people's death before they happen. I want to know what will happen when I explain that this is a huge part of why I don't feel comfortable around people and why I have such bad anxiety I never want to leave my room. I'm not crazy. Should I keep it to myself? Will the response be worse than what I am suffering with now?
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I dont know what Hods is, but I do understand psychic dreams and hearing thoughts, voices that are not my own and it tends to run in families, this ability. So likely some relative in your background has kept it quiet. In the past, people with abilities like this ended up in mental institutions. Today, not so. Although the majority still don't have abilities like these and what people do understand or can't explain away scientifically, they tend to fear or label bad or at the worst, if you run into Christians, they may label you as under the Devils influence or demon possessed. It is quite ridiculous, these views and I'll explain why as I personally understand it. I was a church going Christian and was taught that we could pray to God and hear back from Him. Well in case you haven't given it any thought, God is in Spirit form, and we have souls which are spirit forms contained in mortal bodies. Its the mortal bodies that often interfere with our ability to easily hear from God but it is possible with practice. You wont often find people with such abilities who are involved in church as the response isn't very understanding there but You should find a much better response by hanging out with people who tend to gravitate to anything New agey, the pagan community and psychics are often found in the pagan community more easily than trying to find them on their own out in the world.
What I know from reading books of people with abilities such as your own is all were scared and confused when it occured and felt no one would understand. But their books shared of how they came under the training of other psychics who worked with them side by side, allowing them to be part of what they did explaining all the way along. Its probably the best way to learn.
As far as attempting to find friends and understanding people among pagan groups, no need to worry. I've been part of those groups too and pagan in history simply meant 'the unchurched' or non church going. It did not mean that the people did not have a very healthy spiritual life and belief system. I have found many similarities between pagan and Christianity mainly as early Church borrowed much symbolism from pagan to make christianity more palatable and get more converts.
Pagans have nothing to do with Satanism, that is something entirely different as they dont tend to beleive in the Devil, so you have nothing to fear there. In truth, I have come across more Christians who shared about being haunted by something evil where the pagans know about proper protection from such, and use prayer for protection and healing. The use of spells, is nothing more than a visual bond of items used, and rhyming words used to keep ones intent focused, a problem we all have with wandering thoughts.
You can find pagan communities for your area by simply looking for meet ups on the internet by your city. I traveled a bit after divorcing ex and lived in two other states than where I grew up and I easily found and hung out with pagan groups there. As far as belief in God, you'll hear most refer to the Goddess which I believe is nothing more than the Holy Spirit. Many refer to God and Goddess or the Lord and Lady which means they are talking about Jesus and the Holy Spirit as a pair. The HOly Spirit used to be refered to as a She before the meeting that determined what should be in the Bible, what left out and what changed, long ago in history. So do not worry about the suggestion to start your search among those who feel most comfortable being pagan, as it doesnt mean a of belief in God.
If you want to talk with me further on your experiences or hear more of the few experiences among my family members, I would be glad to share so that you can know, this is actually normal and common enough in certain families.
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