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Confusing Thoughts on an Older Boy
Hello! I am a 17 year old girl who has no idea what to think about this 19 year old boy I'm talking to. I started talking to him over the summer, and we only hung out twice. We texted a lot when I left the area because I was only staying there for a summer program for school. We texted a lot at first, but it started to die off. He invited me to go to a few parties he was having, but they were always late at night, and my parents didn't want me driving 45 minutes to a party that late. The one time I actually drove up to go to one (I'm surprised my parents even gave me permission) he wouldn't answer my calls or texts so I was alone in a different city at midnight with nowhere to go. I eventually just drove back home, and he texted me right when I got on the highway asking why I wasn't there and if I could sneak out. I tried going up there two more times, but he never answered my texts so I didn't even bother actually driving up there. He has never once offered to drive to see me or even meet me halfway. When we text it takes him hours to respond even though I respond fairly quick. Recently he asked if there was any possible way I could drive up and stay the night. Keep in mind he is a college student who lives with other men. He wants me to lie to my parents so I could stay the night with him, and he brought up doing sexual activities. I'm still a virgin, and I've never done anything but kissed three people (him included). When we were texting about me coming over for a night he responded extremely fast, and he was texting more than he usually does. He was also sweeter than he normally is telling me things about how if he took my virginity he would be attached and never would want me to leave. I know he's only trying to get in my pants, but I'm desperately trying to see the good in him. Is it worth it to salvage whatever we have or should I just cut my losses and cut it off? We've been texting on and off for 5-6 months, and he was so sweet when we first met. Is there any possibility that he cares for me or is it all an act to sleep with me and then end it? Thanks for your help! I'm a little naive, and I would appreciate any feedback/advice at all. :)
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My advice to you would be to run for the hills. Honestly, a person can be as nice as they want to be through text message. It's a different story when you actually hang out with them. I'm sure he is a fun, social person. However, you mentioned how one night you had to be alone in a unfamiliar city because he ignored your attempts at reaching him..that to me just screams the words "red flag." If he genuinely wanted to see you and spend time with you, he would not have ignored you when you drove up to see him. Even more so, if he cared about you deeply he would not allow you to be alone all by yourself in a city you don't know. Please don't let the sweet messages fool you. You deserve better than this guy and it seems he's a flight risk. Being serious with him would obviously entail your being all over the place and never quite sure what's going on. It is good you saw the signs early, and I would back out now if I were you. He seems to be after one thing, and is willing to risk your safety and the trust you have with your family to get it. Be smarter than that. He might be in college, but he has an awful lot of maturing to do.
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