Member Since: December 28, 2015
Answers: 2
Last Update: December 28, 2015
Visitors: 575
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24/f
I seem to always have had a hard time making and keeping friends. Im 24 now and it just feels like if I try to make friends with other girls Its forced. The few friends I do have have kids or their always busy. I have a coworker whose said she wanted to hangout, but she never texts me. And if I text her she doesn't answer. She has a daughter as well. And then there was this other girl around the corner from where I work and I gave her my number and I never heard from her. And this one girl at the gym who works there gave me her number and it didn't seem like she wanted to. Whenever we talk it's always me texting her. The last time we talked I texted her and she said she was going to the gym, and I said that i might go but I didn't because I was with my mom and we planned to have dinner together. I don't know what to do anymore. I used to have friends but they weren't very good people. They were into drugs and I started doing that but i eventually stopped, because I didn't want to get int trouble And i don't have facebook or any other social media because I got into trouble recently. Some idiot emailed my mom at work telling her the very personal details of my sex life, and how i cheated on my last boyfriend (which I truly regret) so she got upset of course and made stay off social media and I had to get a basic phone as well. I've tried to make her understand that I need friends and I want to be on social media, but she just doesn't get it. I'm so sick of feeling like this. I mean I want for once to hangout with someone on the weekend and not parents. It just seems like everyone already has their own friends and they don't need me in their group or even their life. So what should I do? What am i doing wrong? Thanks. (link)
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This brings to my mind the saying, "If you want to have a friend, you have to be a friend." The best way to become friends with people is to listen to them and talk about things in doing daily tasks. Coworkers make great friends not only because you see them often, but you all are coming from the same circumstances, so you'll have lots to talk about and relate on. As far as other people are concerned, don't be alarmed if things don't hit off right away. Maybe make more effort to just have casual conversation with the people at the gym or neighbors. Eventually they will open up more and more to you and you'll be able to be a friend to them through learning their struggles, their likes and dislikes, and all the things that make them, them. This is also a great time for you to maybe try out some new activities to see if there is anything different and fresh you might enjoy where you can possibly meet new people! Try not to view this as an issue and instead view it as a fresh slate. You're getting a whole new opportunity to meet brand new people that are more like yourself than any friends you've had before. Trust me, most of my good friends today are people I have only met within the last few years and they are just as close to me as the few people I've known for a long time. You are 24 years old, don't let your parents run your life. This is a difficult thing because you don't want to disappoint them and you also don't want to be mean or disrespect their authority, but at the same time it is time now to be an adult and take charge of your own life, which your parents will never let you do if you constantly give them control over you. If you want to be on social media, be on social media. Take charge of your life. There are tons of really cool and loving people out there who will be your friend in a heartbeat. Keep your head up and hang in there. Be open to people, communicate with them, accept them. Someone out there wants a friend just like you.
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Hello! I am a 17 year old girl who has no idea what to think about this 19 year old boy I'm talking to. I started talking to him over the summer, and we only hung out twice. We texted a lot when I left the area because I was only staying there for a summer program for school. We texted a lot at first, but it started to die off. He invited me to go to a few parties he was having, but they were always late at night, and my parents didn't want me driving 45 minutes to a party that late. The one time I actually drove up to go to one (I'm surprised my parents even gave me permission) he wouldn't answer my calls or texts so I was alone in a different city at midnight with nowhere to go. I eventually just drove back home, and he texted me right when I got on the highway asking why I wasn't there and if I could sneak out. I tried going up there two more times, but he never answered my texts so I didn't even bother actually driving up there. He has never once offered to drive to see me or even meet me halfway. When we text it takes him hours to respond even though I respond fairly quick. Recently he asked if there was any possible way I could drive up and stay the night. Keep in mind he is a college student who lives with other men. He wants me to lie to my parents so I could stay the night with him, and he brought up doing sexual activities. I'm still a virgin, and I've never done anything but kissed three people (him included). When we were texting about me coming over for a night he responded extremely fast, and he was texting more than he usually does. He was also sweeter than he normally is telling me things about how if he took my virginity he would be attached and never would want me to leave. I know he's only trying to get in my pants, but I'm desperately trying to see the good in him. Is it worth it to salvage whatever we have or should I just cut my losses and cut it off? We've been texting on and off for 5-6 months, and he was so sweet when we first met. Is there any possibility that he cares for me or is it all an act to sleep with me and then end it? Thanks for your help! I'm a little naive, and I would appreciate any feedback/advice at all. :) (link)
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My advice to you would be to run for the hills. Honestly, a person can be as nice as they want to be through text message. It's a different story when you actually hang out with them. I'm sure he is a fun, social person. However, you mentioned how one night you had to be alone in a unfamiliar city because he ignored your attempts at reaching him..that to me just screams the words "red flag." If he genuinely wanted to see you and spend time with you, he would not have ignored you when you drove up to see him. Even more so, if he cared about you deeply he would not allow you to be alone all by yourself in a city you don't know. Please don't let the sweet messages fool you. You deserve better than this guy and it seems he's a flight risk. Being serious with him would obviously entail your being all over the place and never quite sure what's going on. It is good you saw the signs early, and I would back out now if I were you. He seems to be after one thing, and is willing to risk your safety and the trust you have with your family to get it. Be smarter than that. He might be in college, but he has an awful lot of maturing to do.
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