Question Posted Saturday December 5 2015, 11:21 am
Do you want to know what true depression feels like? Then, read on...
If there's one thing I've felt myself, and, in talking with the people that have depression (a diagnosable depression), it's that we feel SO incredibly misunderstood. I can't emphasize or stress that enough. We feel that nobody, absolutely NOBODY understands what we're actually feeling like and going through. Then, that in-turn makes us feel more isolated and incredibly alone. Those two feelings then in turn revert back to making the depression even worse. Trust me, it's a vicious cycle. This compelled me to, as best I could, to attempt to describe what depression feels like when in an actual depression…
Please realize when you tell a depressed person (one who actually suffers from true depression), that "things will get better" or "you have people that care about you," that that does absolutely nothing to help a depressed person, when they're in the midst of a depression itself. I'm just stating a point and reality. I'm not attacking your concern for them or your wanting to help them. I think it (depression) needs to have some actual clarification to it. This in turn will hopefully be able to help the friends and family members of their loved ones to at least understand what the depressed person ACTUALLY feels like. If you've never felt the depths of an actual depression, trust me, you're most likely not going to understand the actual mindset of a depressed person. When depressed, the depressed person doesn’t see anything good. Everything takes an enormous amount of effort. You find yourself feeling that you have no value as a person. Nothing matters. Nothing. Death is usually viewed as a relief. A depressed person normally does not think wanting to die is a bad thought. To a depressed person, the thought of death is actually quite normal. It's extremely difficult to explain to someone how bad depression can actually get, if, you've never gone through a true depression. All we feel like to others is a burden to them. The thought of getting out and being social is extremely difficult. It also hurts us when we see other people (seemingly) happy and enjoying life. We want that, but, in a depressed state of mind, genuine happiness seems like a complete and utter impossibility. Being happy seems pretty much non-existent and unattainable to us. We isolate ourselves. But, again, being social and getting out takes an unfathomable amount of effort. And, if we are somehow able to push past that, and, find the energy and ability to get out, we do then wind up seeing people that appear to be happy (as just stated above). This, in turn, makes us realize and feel our depressive state of mind even more. Then, the result of that may be sinking deeper into the depression. There are numerous vicious cycles of depression. They can be extremely difficult to crawl out of. The effort it takes to do pretty much anything is difficult to put into words. It's as if we're constantly trying to run through quicksand. We want to crawl out, but, we feel we are being constantly sucked back in. All we want to do is sleep to escape the reality of what we feel. Sleep seems to be the only escape at times from our tortured minds. And, we aren't afraid to never wake from that sleep.
The reason I felt compelled to post this, is that yes, we are aware that people love us and care about us. But, the depression is more powerful at most times. I guess I'm just trying to let people know what REAL depression feels like, and, the sheer amount of darkness it can feel like, along with the damage it can actually do to the ones who actually suffer from it.
If you read this and you are one of the ones that suffer from true depression, I hope I was able to articulate it accurately and speak up for you as best I could as to what you may feel like when you're in a depression. This was written for all of us that suffer from depression, with the hopes of getting it out there to finally let others know what we face and feel like, and, to what our thought process and mind-set are.
To the friends and family members of the ones that suffer from depression, I hope this gave you at least some insight into us. We can't just snap out of it. We wish it were that simple. But, it's not. It's real and it's not made up. Nor is it for attention. We thank you and love you for wanting to help us and that you're in our lives. Please forgive us if we may seem that we don’t know how to, or, aren't able to express our love and gratitude to and for you. It's in our hearts, it's just extremely hard to express it to you at times…
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