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how can you get over your crush on your bank teller
recently i go to the bank and deposit my check mostly on fridays but sometimes on monday and there is this beautiful young lady who is very kind and sweet to me and she sometimes calls me dear which makes me feel attractive but i believe that is engaged to someone else or dating someone else and i wouldnt want to stand in the way of that anyhow do you know of a way and i am posting this question to Dragonflymagic i hope you get this in your advice column thank you .
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Your situation also falls into the same catagory as a long distance online relationship with someone you've never met. It is your mind that stands in the way of forgetting a crush, or more to the point, your imagination which can be strong enough to fill in the details of what you don't know, affecting your emotions so that you are taken from a point of mere attraction to the person by sight to involving all your emotions and thus your heart.
Most people would tell you to just keep busy with new activities that require a good portion of focus of your mind on the activity so that there is no room left to think about her, but the moment there is nothing to occupy your mind, you end up thinking about here again and those thoughts feed your crush emotions.
So I hope you see the importance of working with your mind to get over the crush.
I will explain next a little about the mind...theres two, your awake-conscious mind and the asleep or subconscious mind. The trouble lies with the subconscious mind. It is important having the duties of controlling your next breath or eye blink so you dont have to think about those with your conscious mind. It is also where all your emotions are stored. Think of a song or movie, which even if not a real life situation, was able to drive your to sadness and tears or righteous anger, over a made up song or movie that wasnt even a real situation? It is the subconscious mind that takes in input from your senses in your daily world, what you see, hear, taste, touch, smell and supplies the emotional respoonsess to your sensory intakes. However, it is also like an inner child and unruly and naive and not logical it the conclusions it comes to. Your subconscious -mind will assume that what ever takes up the most time in your thought life is the most important to you and that you desire it, with out taking into consideration the logistics of it. It will do whatever it can to steer you in directions that are more likely to bring about that which you think upon the most.
So that also means, in the case of having a nightmare of someone attacking you for your wallet, you begin to consciously think about that everytime you are out walking in public and looking around now wondering if anyone you see is potentially a thief. The more you think about it, the more your sub. mind believes this is something you are imagining because it is good and you want it. Stupid, I know, but every human is plagued with a subconscious mind that thinks that way and so we need to learn how to exercise control over it. In the story I was telling, the subconscious mind would go so far as causing you to make bad decisions and taking chances walking in areas that are known to be dangerous and doing so later at night until what you fear most in your thoughts comes true.
Think of your subconscious mind as a totally separate entity inside of you, the two minds in effect being much like two people sharing the same body. I have even a name for mine and will address mine by name and have a talk with her when needs are such. I suggest hear that you consider talking to your subconscious mind with your thoughts, internally, or if no one is around and you have privacy, talking out loud to yours. Basically, the goal is to become friends, not enemys working against each other but working as a team for your ultimate best.
So tell your subconscious mind that there are some qualities you like about this bank teller from what you can determine from sight and hearing and it is those qualities that are important to you, not necessarily that you obtain it directly thru a relationship with her. Let your subconscious mind know that though you feel this attraction, she might not feel the same about you and she may not even be available anyhow. So tell your subconscious to stop trying to get her for you and keeping your emotions wrapped up in her. LEt it know you want this to stop. That you want to move on and find a female who is attracted to you and ready to have a real, not imagined relationship with you who make have similar looks and personality and keep repeating this every time your mind switches to dwelling on her again. In the beginning, this will be often. Its like training a young child of 3 or 4, you have to repeat constantly until they finally understand what you are telling them. It may require in a hour having to repeat this message to your subconscious self 20 times or more. Just do it and over time as it begins to learn you are serious about this, it will comply, fall into line and do as you say because you are supplying new thoughts, commands, that override what was there before.
Good luck.
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