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A bit worried
I feel so stupid for this, but I've just recently started talking to a lad in my year at school again after a while. We've kissed once before, but things ended quite badly. We've kind of arranged to meet again this week and we were on about kissing and I'm kinda okay with that part but then we went on to using our hands, and I feel really pathetic for this but I'm scared! I keep thinking do I need to shave it all off? Is it going to hurt? I'm even worried that he might want to carry on and go further but I'm not ready for that, and what if he almost kinda forces me (I highly doubt it but still). I'm even worried that he might just ignore me after it. I'm sorry I just can't help feeling scared and I don't him to see me cause I'm self conscious. I'm f/15
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Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
generally, anyone on here will tell you that if you are scared, you're not ready. there is no reason to do anything sexual or leading to and including sex if you don't want it. If he wants you to do it just for him or to prove you like or love him, that is not a valid reason. Do not let any guy make you feel guilty for not doing anything you don't want to. Most of the kids who say they've done it are boasting and telling untruths just so they don't look bad to their peers. Do not have sex just as a status symbol to be cool with the kids.
Kissing, foreplay and sex is something that should be an expression of love, a way to show someone that you care about them. At least for most women it is that way. Lotsa guys at this age connect sex with lust, not love and so are in it for what it will give them and have zero concerns of whether the girls enjoys it let alone wants it.
Letting a guy paw all over you is not the way to find and keep a boyfriend. Its better if you can become close friends first and have a relationship as friends before moving into this area. Because to have sex, there comes responsiblities with it, like being prepared, not just with condoms, but lube, birth control for the girl because condoms wont help with any precum that gets near vagina or transfered there by fingers. Precum has sperm too. Thats how lots of girls get pregnant without the guy ever entering them.
As for shaving, thats a personal preferance. You do it if you want to.
Is it gonna hurt, i assume you mean penis in vagina sex as the rest doesnt hurt unless he likes to bite and bites too hard. They hymen is a stretchy material like a rubber band and doesnt have to rip or tear and many women never do. What will cause pain for sure if the guy is uncaring for your comfort and too eager to get in and forces his way in quickly without using any lube. That will tear at skin in there at any age even if hymen has been stretched or torn at some point. Most would not call it a real pain, just a burning sensation or intense pressure or tightness causing a twinge.
If you are counting on a 15 yr old boy or there abouts in age to have the self control of a much older experienced man, that isn't good. Even adults still get carried away and go further than they intended. So expecting a boy to be able to stop just because you say stop, don't do any more or don't go further doesnt mean a thing unless he is someone who cares deeply for you to the point he wouldnt want to do anything to hurt you or disappoint you and would want to honor your wished. You may think you can trust him by how he has acted lately but it may just be an act to get you to trust him so you' will allow him to go further with you.
You are not pathetic. You should be scared if its not the right guy and right time in your life. When you have found the right guy, you'll know it because he'll be the one that you have such great attraction to sexually that you actually want his kisses and touches, even the first time. And it will feel entirely different, you'll feel instead a great desire and excitement and want to do it with him even though you may be a little nervous due to being inexperienced.
I am going to turn you on to a site called Sex+ done by youtube blogger Laci Green. There is so much I could tell you yet but Laci covers it all. Is self taught on everything sexual, gender based, on dating and relationships. Everything I'd wnat to tell you if you were my daughter is whats in her short entertaining videos. And she gets the facts straight too. Please start going through all her videos. You'll come to find that she is telling you the same as I and she learned all this on her own as a teen blogger and now age 25. I admire her greatly and use her alot to share with teens who need some reassurance and teaching regarding sex and dating. Good luck.
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