|
humorist-workshop
Get over crush on friend who knows I like him
My crush who is also my friend found out I like him. Apparently he doesn't have the same feelings for me and although it is not awkward anymore and we agreed to still be friends I feel like he is still bitter towards me sometimes. I want to get over him now but I don't know how. It's hard especially since he sometimes Facebook messages me and sits right in front of me in class. I don't want to totally ignore him because I still want to be friends with him, just get over him as a crush. I'm a 11th grade girl if that helps.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
How do you know he feels bitter at all? Do you realize that much of what we feel is inspired and comes from the thoughts swirling around all the time in our mind? Even our dreams can come from those same thoughts. And the fact is, that most humans spend more time thinking negative thoughts than positive ones. I am guilty too. But I have learned to catch myself in the middle of entertaining negative thoughts and putting an end to it so I don't dwell on it. When you dwell on certain thoughts too long, there is always a chance of you creating the scenerio you are afraid of in the first place.
As for him not having the same feelings, thats life. We can't have the perfect chemistry with everyone we met for being more than friends. I do believe it is good to become friends first with a guy you are attracted to and hopefully he feels the same attraction towards you such as always wondering what it would be like to kiss you. Guys dont wonder that with a girl they are not attracted to romantically. And yes, some guys make friends easier with females or prefer female friends, that is normal, as is the same in reverse, girls with male friends. Since he did not lose you as a friend and is still willing to go being just a friend, there is no reason for him to feel bitter. Maybe uncomfortable knowing how you feel but if he was that uncomfortable, he would end the friendship too.
Once bitten by the love bug, it's like a pesky mosquito bite, there is no instant way to get rid of the mosquito bite and it will continue to irritate you until enough time has passed that eventually it fades more and more until nothing remains. You still can have the memory of the bite but now you no longer feel the sting. So the same with unreturned love and breakups. It simply takes time to get over them. You are going to find that spending time with him other that the must see in class type thing is not going to make it easy for you to get over him. It can be prolonged or may not happen at all, kinda depends on you. I would watch how much time I spend with him, limit myself to a little less than before and start a new hobby or activity to keep your mind busy and occupied. Other than that, its a matter of time. I missed a previous boyfriend (as an adult) until I found the man I married. An a young lady, you may not have much of the needed skills as to how to determine when a guy is interested, if its love or lust on his part, how to tell, what clues to look for to know of possible interest, and how to act in a relationship, etc. Most people learn only by going thru the experiences which can be painful and wrought with failures. You can lessen the amount of failures and learn faster by doing some studying on your own on the computer. try all sorts of search phrases and checking out what come's up. Wiki-how is one I have used lots to help people on here with links. Lets say you want to learn 'body language that indicates a person is attracted to you.' I put in that whole sentence and if nothing good comes up I try simply body language when attracted. The web isn't so picky as it was when the internet first came on the scene.. Back then I had to put in a specific word or phrase to come up with hits, or no luck at all. today I can even mispell a word and the computer makes guesses 'did you mean this or that?' It's way easier than you may think to find info on line and start learning. You tube is also fun and comes up often with videos by dating experts, plus the teens who make up their silly videos that are more about them being views than having real advice. You'll learn quickly which is the real advice. Look for 'how to attract a man/guy' 'Dating do's and don't for women/females' and so on. Perhaps if you poured some time into learning and studying this stuff, that also will help preoccupy your mind while you get over the crush.
]
More Questions: |