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i feel messed up been too long
I don't even know where to begin to be honest, ive been in love with the same guy since 2011 from the moment i met him. We ended 2 years ago, we kept in contact few months after our break up and then we started to see each other again last year summer, but deep down it was a mistake to see him again. At the time he said he wanted to see me again cause he still had feelings for me, i believed him, obviously any girl whos in love will believe anything the guy she loves tells him.
I always come on here to get advice on how to move on from him but it's impossible i can't seem to forget him i cant stop myself from loving him and it's killing me inside, the last time we spoke was on new years and thats it. We both have too much pride to even say hi to eachother. Were both 20, we met when we were 17 i love this guy i've tried dating other people but its no help i've tried to like someone as much as i did with him but something inside me tells me my heart belongs to him. There must be a reason why i still love him? like why has he still kept me as a contact on social sites? i feel like you know when someone is meant for you its an instinct my heart tells me. He's the last guy i've had sex with, the only guy i've slept with since we met, i feel weird if i let another guy touch me cause it feels as if it's him. Everyone says that time will cure it all but i dont even believe that anymore honestly, i just have a feeling were going to be together one day but it's like were meant for eachother. I'm not a selfish person i will understand if he see's other people i have no right to say anything but it will kill me so much inside. I feel like i'm not allowing myself to find happiness with others because i'm so used to my past, i will admit that i dont know how to let my past go but honestly during the time we was together that was the happiest i've ever been i found love with him and so did he i felt it in him, i felt the love in his eyes :( i want to try and fall for someone but i can't i think of him everyday of my life, hes inside my skin it's killing me feeling like this. I know that he knows i still feel this way for him still. I've lost great chances with other guys but this love holds me back from it all.
:(
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I think it may be tough for you because of your past and maybe you didn't have a proper ending to your relationship. I think you may need to confront him and tell him how you feel in a non creepy way and get these feelings resolved and put at ease. It can be very tough to forget someone that you desperately love, it is, but if he ends up saying he doesnt want to keep doing this relationship back and forth, then you will know that you have to move on and give yourself time for yourself. That might be the only way to feel any better about the current situation.
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