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Back with more thoughts
Hi doll,thanks again for responding.We were flirty,and all that,starting out,but were also friends.As of the past 10 months,excluding a month ago,when we parted ways,he was yes,very serious,as was I and yes,he admitted to have feelings for me,and he did say ''I love You'' more than a few times. We had talked about meeting each other and seeing one another for a week first,staying with him and his family. The visit was initially because we wanted to see one another and to see how we could really be in person,and we agreed that we would move in when he got his new apartment,and all.
During these past months he showed he was very crazy about me,sending me videos seranading me,and all sorts of stuff.
This relationship he had with this woman was 17 months ago,and Im wondering if it should even count,considering they are long over,and the woman he was with has a boyfriend and has moved in with him.My peeve about all that is that he never bothered to tell me.
And in our 3 years times,we were never officially official.So,he may be off the hook there,during this part of 2013,we werent as close as we were when we first reconnected,but the past 10 months were just bliss.So refreshing to me,and he made me very happy,and we shared our whole lives,and really had something wonderful,and I miss that.
I was always honest with him,I never ever lied to him,I give my honor there.
But,my mom had other ideas also,and she absolutely hates him,due to a little spat they had 3 years ago.Its so petty,and my refuses to acknowledge anything else until she gets an apology from which she wont.She says I will got to eternal hell if I ever was to be with him.
And she will have no heathen for a son-in law.
As for his promises,he did say,if everything worked well,he definately considered getting married,and men usually,as a norm dont mention that much.And he was not afraid of commitment. And neither am I.
I axed it off due to peace in the family,my mother would have hated me forever and ever.Im 15,and my mom throws the Bible in my face for everything.The hell was I thinking for being with him? I feel so lost.And stuck.
I have never been away from home before.Like never. Ive always dedicated my life to mom and religion,but Im cracking under pressure.
My mom gets so uptight when my guy was mention,she immediately gets in angry mode.She scares me,and I just dont have the balls to talk to her.
I know Im young,and I try to be as smart as I can.And Ive struggled alot in my life.And I have always been in some kind of heartache,and I felt,I finally had something wonderful,and I felt it was just taken away from me from my hands.And it made it next to impossible.Just too much.Its all just too much for me,and I strugge so much as an individual.Im not brave enough to face my mom,or life,or anything.
My mother is still pouting and pissed that my guy never came to see me.Because in her opinion he is ''Obligated,and he is the man'' therefore,I have no buisness as a woman to see him at all.She says one day she will ''Grant me my freedom'' Im not a slave,I am human being and her daughter,you grant me nothing,it should never be her choice,but I felt much much pressure,and I reached a breaking point.My sister goes along with watever mom wants,and she started gaining on me andtheir both cancers,so Im damn out numbered.
Regardless,its been hard. I dont want to leave my mom,but I feel stuck too!
My birthday is in a week,and I sure wish I could be there to see ''the guy'' or watever.
Thanks in advanced!! I really appreciate your time that youve spent with me regarding this!! Thanks so much!!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Parents do the best they can. But I see issues arising because no matter what guy you're dating in the future, if he isn't Christian or of the same church, she may say no. When a person is 18 or older, they are an adult and can make their own decisions and who they date or marry isn't someone you choose to please parents. Honoring parents would mean asking their opinion as you make decisions in adults life, getting their input just as you are getting mine.
The only problem is that not all parents can be objective like a stranger. Your mom is a parent, but just because we are a parent, doesn't mean we actually automatically have our shit together once we have a baby and are raising them. It's a learn as you go process and not all parent actually learn. Some stay stuck in immaturity and don't grow up. Some of the stuff you share about your mom's reactions sound a bit immature.
I will say Mom has a point with a guy not willing to come see and visit the lady he is supposedly crazy about. If one of my daughters had such a guy, I instantly wouldn't have a good feeling about him. However, unless my daughters were asking what i thought of him, I couldnt tell them. It would be unsolicited advice. I can always say, "Would you care to hear some of the things I am seeing in him that give me enough concern to want to point out to you to look for just to be safe and not get hurt later? I've done that. Sometimes my daughters say yes, sometimes no. My role of raising them and instructing them the best I can as the best choices to make is over. That includes who they choose to date. Your mom is in the same spot.
So if you ever have future issues in regards to this and need a friendly ear, you can always write me. I wish you the best. And Happy Birthday. Mines next month.
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