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Hi. I hope you remember
I was the same person who asked about the kind of illness which is depersonalization disorder. I can say that I really have this type of disorder because it striked again just this awhile ago. I can't explain how I experienced it becausr it was just too fast and after it fade away. I was thinking about how and when would I die and suddenly it seemed like I'm in a dream like I saw myself staring at me. Gosh I'm hallucinating but I can't see myself clearly because it was so hazy and unclear so feels like I'm dreaming. I mean it didn't bother me. The only thing is that I'm so shocked about what I've seen. I figured out when this derealization occurs when if I would panick or extremely worried or scared. Awhile ago my sister scared me about lizard and I was so scared that I really really panicked. So then hours later, I imagined that I would die because of too much fear of lizards then I suddenly find it like a dream. This is not disturbing me but I'm.just worried whether it would complicate another disorder. Im really afraid to tell this to mum because she won't believe plus we don't have money for pshychiatrist or any practitioner because my dad was so sick days ago. I'm researching on how to cope this disorder but I want your personal opinion coz i know you can help me. Thank you
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Hello again.
Yes I remember you. You were worried about this affecting you getting into med. school.
I am not a professional. I can't begin to tell you if what is going on for you is part a mental condition, part psychic abilities or what. If you have negative thinking that gets out of hand, thats one thing and it can lead to focusing so much on one fear or depressive thing that you actually lead yourself to spiral downward out of control. It's then becomes a matter of handling 'stinking thinking' a phrase I got from a book I read, by psychiatrist David Burns on self help for depression and other mental things.
Here's a link explaining the book.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I dont know if it can help at all but it's worth at least trying it and ruling out if this is not the case with you.
So as I sit here, at a loss as to what to tell you other than that. I began to 'in my mind' just ask my spirit guides what to tell you. Some people recognize and call this their guardian angels. And immediately, the words, "Tell her some of your stories." came into my mind. There is much in this world that the majority never experience but all of us have that capability buried deep within us. Think of times that you can feel someone staring at you or approaching you from behind.
I didn't have much of any abilities come through as a child or teen. All I can remember is a keen sense of knowing when a particular kid who liked to do the "Spock" pinch on the shoulder was approaching me from behind. He was able to sneak up to other kids, but never me. I always 'Felt' strongly, a sense that caused me to turn around to check with that 'something' I was feeling was.
As a teen, I followed of my own accord the Christian faith. I listened to all the trainings on how to hear from God and have real conversation with him or Holy Spirit in my mind. I wanted to be like King David, who was said to be 'a man after God's own heart'. I would ask God if I was still 'pleasing Him' and always heard the answer back in my mind that "yes I was". One day, the pastor decided to book a woman for the weekend, starting all day Saturday teaching classes on how to hear from God better. The majority of people thought it was a bunch of baloney. What I saw is that they were uncomfortable because talking with God, one can't rely on their physical senses of sight, hearing, touch, etc... It takes a sixth sense and for some reason, most people, not just Christians, shy away from anything to do with it cus it's a realm of stuff that can't be explained, only experienced. Therefore, perhaps if what you are going through for the most part is related to the ability to connect with that which is not detectable by regular human senses, then your scenerio is more spiritual and psychically related.
So in this 'workshop' at church, one of the exercises was to pair off with someone you did not know anything about. I don't remember all details but i remember two very clearly. We were told to sit across from the partner, holding hands and close our eyes and ask God to give us a mental picture of something related to what He wanted me to tell the other person.
I had a college age girl as my first partner. In my mind, I saw a ball of red yarn. When I asked what this yarn meant to the girl, I was asked, what does the red yarn mean to you? You see, I had a ball of red yarn in my craft cabinet from Christmas. We also had 3 cats at the time. If one of the kids got into it and didn't latch it well, the cats would find the yarn and unravel the whole thing. This happened not once but 5 or 6 times. I was so tired of having to untangle and re-ball the yarn neatly. I was always afraid of the cats getting inside and the yarn coming unraveled. "So what does this have to do with her?' I asked. The answer I got, "She feels her life is coming unraveled and she feels at the end of her rope in dealing with it." So I spoke that sentence out loud to her and her jaw dropped open. I told her God knows what she's going through, and that everything would soon fall into place and come neatly back together. Those last words were provided once I opened my mouth and started speaking. She told me thats exactly what she's going through and even her mom didn't know. It felt like that situation where a person goes to see a psychic who is in tune that way and able to receive real insight on a person, not one of those quacks who fish for info that they hope you give them. Next we switched partners. Just to prove its not just me able to do this and no one else could, God gave me an older woman as my next partner. When it came her turn to tell me something, she gave me a sheepish look and said, I am not really getting anything, all I have is that God is pleased with you. I jumped out of my chair in shock exclaiming, thats it, thats it. Thats confirmation that you heard correctly from God and I explained the deal I had going where I constantly asked God how I was doing. It was the same words I always got...God telling me He is pleased with me..the word Pleased, is something no one else knew about. It gave me chills up my back.
I think my Spirit guides took that as encouragement that I was spiritually ready to ramp things up a bit. And I experienced something soon after that can't be explained. Ever walk into a room and forget what you walked in to get? Well, I did that. While standing in the middle of the room trying to remember, I got a firm tapping on my right shoulder. I was the only one in the room that I knew of but thought one of my daughters had snuck up behind me to tease me. I spun around, no one there, raced to the door way to look into the hallway...just mere steps...No body there, no retreating footsteps. It was then I felt spooked, scared and chills were running up and down my back.
My next incident didn't come along until 2004. I was at the chiropracter seeing the acupunturist gal who worked there. She left me face down on the massage table with needles in my back and said she'd be back when the timer went off to take them out. As I lay there, I relaxed to where I was almost in that dream like state, half awake and half asleep. And so I was confused when my mind registered a man standing to the left of the table, just silently standing there. Being I'd been wake asleep, I forgot that my eyes were closed but I snapped my head up a split second later to look at the exact spot I'd seen him. I saw him as clearly in my minds eye as I see people with my physical eyes. I have never seen anything that clearly since. I can still describe him to a T.
I thought someone had walked into the wrong room but when no one was there, I laid my head down and the moment my eyes were closed, the image of the man was clearly visible again. I did not believe in spirit guides, I was not researching how to discover them either, but yet there he was, real enough to reach out and touch. What does one do when faced with something like this for the first time. I had no clue. All I knew was how to speak to God. Perhaps if I spoke to this very real apparition in my mind, it would speak in return. I felt silly doing it but asked, "Who are you?" I got an immediate answer. My name is actually William but friends used to call me wild Willy." I wasn't expecting an answer. Since I got one, I supposed I had to keep talking now. "What do you want?" "I am your spirit guide, or rather, one of two. You have another, he used to be a close friend when we lived human lives. He's not here now. He will meet you later. He will leave his calling card before he makes his appearance. Pretty strange stuff. After I got home and had a couple more days to think about my experience, I began to doubt what happened. I knew I wasn't crazy but I had a great imagination. Maybe I had imagined it so real. I was thinking of it like 'imaginary friends', kinda like you are describing having tho I didnt have any as a child that I can remember. So I decided to test it.The weekend was approaching and I would be busy. I asked Willy to prove he was real in two ways, tapping me on top of my head and by superimposing himself/his image over another person at some point on the weekend. Then I promptly forgot about it. I was so distracted that I wasnt expecting it. So when approaching the doors of Walmart, a guy walks out looking like Willy. My head swiveled and I watched the image of Willy fade to become the image of the actual man. Later that night while chatting with friends, I got a tapping on top of my head. Whipped my head around to the back of the lazyboy chair to see if I could catch her kids back there playing tricks on me. They were not in the room.
I've had many other experiences since then and learned to trust what I called the Holy Spirit. I've since read other books that describe Holy Spirit as Creative Spirit or the Feminine half/expression of God, or as some pagan believers would call, the Goddess. I did not believe in reincarnation yet. I was pretty resistant to all this stuff cus the Church said it wasnt real or something was evil or just not possible. One day I clearly heard the voice I knew as God saying out of the blue, "Would you believe me If I told you that reincarnation was real?" By now I never doubted ever my ability to hear Gods voice and I recognized this as being Gods voice. Since Gods voice and my voice sound like my talking aloud voice, how was I able to tell? This is where many begin to doubt their selves. I knew the difference from experience. Often I was being prompted to go share an encouraging word with a stranger. Something I am not totally comfortable doing. Why would I mentally make up a convo with myself, asking me to do something I don't like to do...thats not happening.
So I got good at telling the difference. I went on to learn about energy healing. I was involved in church on a prayer team, praying for healing for people. Problem is, Christians believe that sometimes it is not Gods will that a person be healed. We'll pray but they'll only be healed if its Gods will. I have since discovered that in a family or a relationship, is one person is there for others to learn a particular lesson and grow by but they refuse to grow, then that one person is no longer needed there. Either they hear from God to move on, or something has to happen to take them out, with end result of death, either an accident or contracting a disease. No its not Gods will that the person who does get it and has grown as a soul dies before their time but its also as important that their being there does not prevent another souls growth so therefore the loss by divorce, leaving ones disfunctional family, accident or disease. I took some basic Reiki training, whereby we become the conduit for the energy of the universe to flow through us to the person needing help. I got many mental images showing me things to do that weren't in the Basic training anymore but more the level of Reiki master, without the classes. My intuition developed further so I could tell where someone was suffering, what was going on etc... although for about 3 years I have lived so rural and had no car that I had no contact with people to use it other than on myself or hubby. Now I am back living in the big city and should be getting back to this. I did mention intuition. Women tend to have a natural intuition. They just know something but don't know how or why. Men often allude to this womens intuition. ANd thats why women are often more psychically gifted than men. This is a lot for you to go over and I dont know how it will help you but I obeyed in sharing it. If any of this rings true for you and you'd like to chat further about some of your experiences in detail, I am here for you and would truly be interested.
Blessings to you dear.
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