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Failing out
There's a weird school system where I live and we're writing our finals now. I used to be a good student- straight As and everything. But I've been dealing with depression for the past 4 years. I've somehow maintained fairly good grades so far anyhow.. but now my depression seems to have gotten worse and I can't bring myself to care for anything. I am sitting at the exam table and I don't care about writing the exam! I try to force myself to focus and give it my best shot but I can't bring myself to try to finish it. I just don't feel like eating, or talking or doing anything anymore and it's making it so difficult to study. And I am tired and exhausted all the time, and even if I try very hard, something just doesn't let me give my best. I know I can do better than this, and if it continues this way, I think I'm going to fail my finals. Even that doesn't bother me (I really can't care about anything anymore), but my parents have spent a lot of money on my education and it just wouldn't be right. Also, everyone is expecting me to do really well because I'm supposed to be a good student but I just don't have any drive anymore. But I'm really trying because I feel like it wouldn't be right to just give up. Also, I'm not in a position to get help for my depression at the moment, nor can I tell my teachers and parents about this. I'm really lost, I don't know what to do now.
If you've read all this, thank you so much! (: Please feel free to give me any advice that you think would help.
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I am not a doctor so I cannot make a diagnosis of any kind. What I will tell you is that what you have written has hit half of the points in the questions the doctors would ask that would lead them to make the diagnoses of clinical depression.
Clinical depression is more of a hormonal problem than a mental illness. It is generally caused by the lack of one or two hormones that control mood. In many cases the person suffering from clinical depression is under so much stress the body cannot produce enough of these chemicals to deal with the stress. From what you have written this sounds more like you.
If you had a sore throat and need antibiotics, would you go to mom or dad to be taken to the doctor? Yes you would; well this is the same thing. You may be suffering from what is now called teenage depression, which is caused by all the stress placed upon teenagers. Back in ancient times of your grandparents this was looked at as a phase children went through and would pass. For the most part it did. Today doctors know better and they can help you. You do not need suffer. The treatment and the medication are covered under medical insurance.
You don't say why you cannot go to your parents with this or a teacher. This is exactly what parents and teachers are there for to see to it you are safe, healthy and happy. As a parent I can tell you our main responsibility in life is to our children. We brought you into this world and in legal terms until you are 18 we are legally responsible for your safety, health and well-being. For most parents this goes far beyond the legal.
There is nothing so horrible or embarrassing that you cannot go to any adult, your parents or teachers to get help from. In this instance you are sick just as if you had the flu or something else. Tell a teacher you need help, go to your parents for help. You can feel much better really soon if you do.
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