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My crush asked me to be his friend and now he is ignoring me !!
Alright so i live in Pakistan and i am 15 years old. I like a guy in my academy in my class it's been since 3 months i guess...
He always used to you know stare me and tease me....and help me in any way he can. He is like this only with me...(he liked me but didnt made it obvious) the point is that because of asian culture we cannot be friends..my parents dont mind that i will be friends with boys but they dont know him and they dont trust him (so you can see it is hard for me to explain them everything)
Okay so the main point comes here one day i was going he stopped me near the staircase ALONE !!
And asked me that can we be friends ??? Alright he is my crush i wanted to be his frnd but i was queit and shocked...he went from there without saying anything.
I told my sis about it and she told my mom -.-
She was angry but didnt said anything.. Then what hppnd is my mom went to my teachers and told them all the situation (she didnt tell them his name) so you see everything got worse....
He knew his compalin came etc but he was normal with me like before.....and now since 3 days he is totally IGNORING me out...(he told everyone his father is coming to the academy to check his progress so he was little tense about it too though he didnt came maybe he is like his father is coming so my teachers wont complain about him) he stares me but he ignores me and it really kills me...shud i talk to him that we can be good class fellows and sorry for what happened the past whole week or i should just let him ignore me :(.....(keep in mind we both are under observation by everyone)
I dont know he was normal after what all happened and i was too we both were going fine but idk what happaned with him...so what shud i do ?? Write him a letter talk to him and explain things or just let it go (but i feel sorry for him)
P.S his cousin who is in my class was staring me today and helped me twice with my work (he never did that before) and was smiling like an idiott.....is it connected something with my crush ??? :/ because today my crush was ignoring me but his cousin was staring me and smiling at me and helping me with my work.......but before my crush used to do this...(my crush was staring me today but as i mentioned above IGNORED me)
Kindly tell me what to say to my crush..shud i explain things to him or not ? ( i feel sad for him and miss theway he used to tease me and all :( )
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Hi there! I'm a little bit unsure of what I can or cannot advise here. I'm English and I'm sure you know that different cultures have different customs, rules and conventions. And I'm not all that familiar with some of yours. For example, in the UK it would be very unusual for the parents of a 15 year old girl to approach a school with a complaint unless she was perhaps being bullied, or a boy there was making some sort of sexual advances towards her that she found unwanted and upsetting. Clearly he is not doing anything of this seriousness. Bear with me, and I'll do my best to help all I can. OK. You've liked this boy for quite a long time. He's helped you, been very nice to you. You have shared a laugh and a joke. And you have fallen for him. And it seems like he feels the same. He asked you to be friends, I assume he'd like to spend more time with you? You lost your nerve a bit? Your parents don't approve of him. It did not go well and he will have left feeling you had said 'no'. 'Turned him down' as it were? And now your parents have become involved, and that has involved teachers and (even worse for him) his parents. It has all become like a rope or a piece of string that has got all tangled and tied in knots, would you agree? He will be feeling rather bad. Firstly, the girl he likes and wanted to 'ask out' has apparently rejected him. Now teachers and parents are involved. Because of the confusion he might even be thinking that YOU had complained about him? He will be feeling rather foolish and insulted. His pride will be hurting. So it is not very likely that he will carry on as though nothing had happened. He will feel very awkward, and very uncomfortable when you are around, and this is almost certainly why he is now ignoring you. Going back to normal is really what you want, isn't it? I believe the only way out of this is through communication. Perhaps writing a letter or note to him? Explain the situation as you understand it and be sure to tell him that you are pleased and flattered that he asked to be your friend. And you would have loved to say 'yes'. But things are difficult with parents. OK. That's step one. Now to the second bit. I don't think is anywhere near so strict and formal in my culture, but it's true that a girl of less than 18 will find it very hard to deliberately go against the wishes of parents if they are determined that she will not a particular boy. At 18, and if she is independent and has an income of her own and the means to live and support herslef she could of course do anything she wanted to. So I can see that you are obliged to follow their wishes. I assume he has not done anything we could call wrong or improper? As I understand it, the only objection they have is that they do not know much (or anything) about him and his family? Is there any way that the two of you, both accompanied by your parents could meet up and GET TO KNOW each other? It seems the most obvious solution. Unless that is made impossible by some custom or convention (or 'rule') that I do not know anything about. I understand that you are rather ruled by your parents decisions, but I think that, as you seem to like each other a lot and get on well, it would be a shame to just 'let it go' as you say, without making a good attempt to be together as friends. I don't have very much of an idea where his cousin fits into this, I must admit. Possibly he has confided in his cousin and he is hoping to help straighten things out between you? To act as a sort of 'bridge' between you because recent events have made it difficult for you to talk to each other directly? This is purely a guess however. I hope that I have managed to help a bit. I would certainly write that note. Even if you cannot resolve the issue of parental friendship and consent and you are somehow completely 'forbidden' to be his friend, then at least HE will know the truth. And YOU will have done the right thing in telling him your true feelings. Good luck. X
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