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I made a huge mistake
Hi. I am a thirty year old female. For the past three years of my life, I haven't dated. I haven't messed around with anyone, I just shut myself away... Because I just was tired of being hurt and let down... But this past weekend, I made a horrible mistake, I gotten drunk with my co- workers. And I had sex with my co- worker. And that night, he told me he liked me.... And wanted to have a relationship with me. But the next day, I found out everybody at my job knows. He started acted distinct, he told me he didn't want a relationship, because he wanted to hang out with his friends without me getting angry. But he still wanted to hang out, and get to know me, with a possibility of a relationship in the future. So we made plans to hang out yesterday. And once I arrived to work, he totally ignored me... Only talked to me when he had to. And it just hurts like hell! I'm not that type of girl, I don't sleep around. I don't have one night stands. And it sucks, because he was one of the few people at my job, that I loved and respected, but he just treated me like I was nothing. And, a part of me just want to quit, I feel embarrassed, I'm so ashamed, I feel like crap. Because I made the mistake of mixing business with pleasure. I always usually know what to do, and how to get out of things, but as of now I don't have an idea. What should I do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Hey! Chill! These stuff happen all the time. You can just be friends with him. He likes you, you like him. You can be friends.
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Don't feel ashamed as you are human and things do happen. Getting hurt by a loved one can cause a person to harden their heart, especially when you reopen your heart and try to fall in love again or re-feel what you once lost. To be honest your Co-workers attitude towards you is something that is common, he most likely doesn't know how to express his feelings and is feeling the same way as you are. The only way to understand eachothers feelings is by talking about them. Tell him what you think, how you feel, and who knows you might come to an understanding to make the situation less awkward or better completely solved. You cant expect anything to work out if you don't work for it. Find your confidence to confront the situation, and for a second think of him as a man more than your co-worker. The co-worker thing is what is worrying you, don't think about what others know or what you think that others know, we are all human and many make the same "mistake".
"Think about and take action".
-YARETZI
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I have one question: Are you certain everyone knows you slept with this man or is it something you think you are seeing? I ask this question because you sound like someone who would be ashamed if people knew you slept with a co-worker especially if the person was in anyway a supervisor. Sometimes certain fears make perceptions a reality for us. There is an old saying about perception; if you perceive it therefore it is.
As for him. You may be right or you may be perceiving something that may not have changed all that much as you inwardly would think if you were in a relationship with him he would want to spend more time with you at work and he isn't. From his perspective he may be staying away so as not to give any indication that his relationship with you has changed.
If he is in any way in a supervisory position over you at work. Then any relationship with you even outside of work does put him in jeopardy at work. so it is possible that he is staying away from you at work but for good reason.
The answer to your problem may not be to quit your job. It may be the lack of communication between you. If he is staying away from you at work so as not to indicate a relationship with you to anyone at work. It just might be noticeable to more people than just you. This could cause people to ask as to why which would be the whole reason for doing so to prevent these types of questions.
Talk to him. Find out why. If he is being childish about your budding relationship; take him down of the pedestal you've had him on and move on, bot at work and outside of work.
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