|
How do I get a second date with this guy?
I'm 21 and the guy I like is 26. We met at work and the way that we met was very cute, it turns out that we live on the same street and we kept following each other home when we left for the day at the same time. I totally noticed him, and he must have noticed me too, because he added me on Facebook shortly after. We talked a ton on Facebook at first and then he asked me for my number so now we have been texting every day for about a month now. One day he gave me a ride home, and he was very eager to get together and talk again so we made plans.
On our first date (it seemed to me that it was a date, but nothing has really been defined) he picked me up and we went for ice cream, and went fine. We were both nervous. When he dropped me off, I asked if he wanted to come in and hang out more, but he politely declined and that we would hang out again.
I seem to be more open than he is. I told him that I like him, and he implied that he likes me too, but we both just got out of long-term relationships, so I'm afraid of being just a rebound girl to him.
He showed interest in doing something with me/hanging out a lot at first, and we went on one date, but he hasn't initiated seeing me again. I'm starting to feel weird that we text so much but we don't spend time in person, and I can't figure out why he isn't asking me out again, so I said to him "we should hang out as just friends sometime soon, no pressure" and he said "ok :)" but he seems to change the subject when I initiate. I have asked him to hang out a bunch of times but now he's saying things like "I'm bad with plans." So I can't decide if he wants me to initiate or if he's just messing with me.
We talk during the day sometimes, but he always makes a point to text me at night. Two nights ago, he told me he was tired and said something like "too bad I can't lay with you," and I responded saying that he was teasing me and that I wanted him here, etc.
So the next night, when he was tired again, he tried to have a conversation to the same effect, and when it started to be "what would you do to me if you were in my bed?;)", etc., I told him that he was insinuating that he wanted a sexting relationship with me, and that I wasn't comfortable making a habit of that if we aren't committed to each other. I was very straight up with him, and told him I didn't want to feel used if he's only into me enough to do that, but not into me enough to date me.
In response, he told me that he's not a shitty guy, and that he's sorry for portraying himself that way, that I'm gorgeous and that I have a great personality, and he thinks too highly of me to treat me like that. He said it wouldn't happen again, and that would never use me, etc...but had no response to what I said about dating.
I still don't know where I stand with him or what he wants from me. And I don't know why he's not asking me out again. I have a feeling that he's shy, and that's why he keeps texting me. I tried pulling away a bit and he got bummed when I didn't text him back.
Or maybe he feels like he doesn't have to chase me because I told him that I like him and now there is no mystery, so I feel like I should have kept my mouth shut. He's giving me such mixed messages that I'm afraid he would reject me if I asked him to do something because he seems picky about where he hangs out. I feel like I shouldn't have to do all the work, especially because he is the guy and he is 5 years older than me, and you would think that he's more experienced with this stuff.
Should I keep talking to him or give up? Should I initiate something or wait for him to make the move?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Ask him to hang out again.
If he says no, then you have your answer and you can move on.
It's all nice and well to think that he should have made a move and that you don't want to do the work - but if that's the way you feel, then this relationship is already over. Move on.
If you want to hang out again, make a plan and invite him along.
Frankly, this guy sounds like he is either lazy, or not that into you, but the worst thing that can happen is that you ask him out, and he says no, or that you go out, and find out he's not that interested.
Either way, I think knowing is better than not knowing. So take a chance. Yeah, it might fail horribly. Accept that and take the chance anyways.
]
More Questions: |