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I asked the question about the friends with benefits signals.
I don't have feelings for him. I just wanted to know the signs.
Me and my partner have been messing around for quite awhile off and on. He kinda cuddles with me after sex, I don't know if that's a normal thing. He holds my hand, kinda plays with my fingers. He bought me water when I said I was thirsty.
So I don't know if this is all because we are just comfortable since we've been doing this for awhile.
He said something, it was random. He said, "Sometimes I like you but sometimes I'm mad at you." I asked him why he gets mad at me. He said, "Well, not exactly mad, just jealous when I see you with so and so" (The guy that I was previously dating.)
With friends with benefits, do you set your own boundaries and kinda do whatever you feel like or are there certain rules to follow? Like I know there are no feelings involved. He is a good friend so I felt like all that stuff was just cause we're comfortable together. But I just wanted to make sure.
If you think that something is weird, I'll bring it up with him.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Theres a hormone that is released when having sex, making love, and it's one of the feel good hormones our brain needs to function well, it also affects our total well being, taking off stress and one of the signs of it is feeling a special closeness to the person like the cuddling, playing with hands, or hair or little kisses. But that heightened feeling afterwards lasts just a couple hours.
When we are sexually intimate with someone, our subconscious mind gets sucked into the feelings of it and since our subconscious is where all our feelings and emotions are stored its easy to see things like jealousy and an actual falling in love occur, even if your conscious/awake mind has another plan. His two minds could simply not be on the same page. And that could be why he feels possessive, wanting you for himself and feeling jealousy.
Its a very good thing that he is not afraid to and able to share his feelings like that. Try to be the same and always as something comes up or your feelings change, bring it up. As long as you remind him along the way that you don't have the kind of feelings for him that is needed for a long term domestic partnership. He may fall in love with you and to be fair to him, you may need to stop the friends with benefits deal to allow him time to get over you and find the kind of girl who will make the perfect life mate for him. If that time ever comes and you need to talk again, let me know.
But his actions so far are normal but there's no way to really know how much his heart is getting involved unless he tells you or you ask. Yes, friend with benefits can fall in love. But there has to be that chemistry and spark on both sides, not just one sided.
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