|
How to make penis feel bigger during sex (follow up question)
Hi Razhie,
Thank you very much for your advice.
Regarding your last point, funny you should bring that up, but just recently she has bought a range of toys. We tried a few, including a 10" strapon. When I used it she came almost straight away and really strongly. Usually it takes me quite some time to get her to orgasm, even if I've spent a while in foreplay. (ok, with the strapon she had been using a vibrator for a bit).
After wards she said that it felt *absolutely amazing*.
It really hit home for me how - inadequate - I really am.
After that, how on earth am I meant to satisfy her?
She said before hand that she doesnt like huge dicks because they hurt - fair enough - I thought that maybe I did have some ok equipment. BUT - I was using a good 9" of the strapon, compared to which mine is *tiny* (im about 5.9").
PS. I've never been with anyone else, she has and she says that the *only* way to cum is in this position. Also, when we have sex she will often tell me to go deeper.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You aren't 'meant to satisfy her'.
That isn't the fundamental goal of a sexual relationship.
You are meant to be her partner in play.
Fundamentally, her satisfaction is her job: Her job to ask for it and to figure out how to get it. An orgasm isn't something you give her. It's not a gift. She could get off on her own. You are there to make the ride more fun and to bond and share in the moments with her.
It sounds like your girlfriend knows this, and it might be a bit intimidating for you to be with someone who has already got that sort of distinction figured out, as you are just learning it.
Being a good partner in play certainly means valuing her satisfaction, but it doesn't mean your body should be the sole provider of it. That's absurd.
She will have a fun, satisfying, complex, loving relationship with you - a human being who both farts, vomits, bleeds and does ton of shit that drives her nuts AND who she gets off with - and she will probably still use a vibrator sometimes, maybe watch porn, and even fantasize about others.
Her sexual life experience will be varied, complex and personal, even if she never has anyone's dick inside her ever again in her life besides yours.
You aren't inadequate. Frankly, the very fact you have heard what she has told you about her orgasms and the positions she likes puts you miles ahead of the vast majority of sex partners out there.
You are meant to satisfy your partner, in many more ways than purely sexual, by going on doing just what you are doing darling. Being open, listening, respectful and playful. There is no failure in what you've described. What you've done is pure win. Epic win, even.
If you want some advice moving forward, I'd suggest you take a more playful and experimental tone with your girlfriend. Orgasms, both yours and hers, do not need to be sole goal of every time you jump into bed.
Secondly, and most importantly, don't invent problems and don't use the word 'inadequate'. You are inadequate when you stop giving a shit about her satisfaction. You are inadequate if ignore her opinions or feelings in favour of what you think sex SHOULD be. You are inadequate if your are always selfish (a bit of selfishness is a good thing - just like her, you are responsible for standing up and ask for what works for you).
]
More Questions: |