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disappearing and reappearing man dilemma
Hi! So last year I met this guy out who turned out to be a friend of another guy who I had a coffee date with a few months beforehand though nothing actually eventuated with. The guy I had the coffee date with and I lost interest in each other pretty quickly and we were never physical or anything. Anyway, the second guy I really liked instantly and we hung out a few times and slept together once. I was leaving that city to go home for a few month so I slept with him quicker than I would have normally. I continued to like him even when I went home, however, he turned really weird just before I left. He became really flakey and would often ignore my texts if I contacted him or anything. I stopped contacting him and didn't hear from him for about three months. When I returned to the city I bumped into him at a bar. From then on he started contacting me again. I turned down his invites to "catch up" as I don't like how he just vanished the first time. After a few goes he seemed to give up and then tried again after a few months. Anyway (i'm sorry this is so long!) the past couple of months he has been almost everyday trying to see me and I've turned him down each time. The problem is I still really like him but how can you trust someone who can get any girl he wants (he is really hot) and hasn't stated exactly what he wants from me. I don't want to sound weird but telling him I am not interested in a friends with benefits situation, I am only interested in a proper relationship.
If you have any tips on how I get my message across that I am no longer interested in sleeping with him it will be appreaciated :)
Thankyou
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I think first off you need to establish what he wants. To do this you need to ask him. Sit him down and ask him-its as simple as that, and above anything he'll like a woman who knows what she wants. I think if he doesn't want a proper relationship, you'll have to move on.
The best way to try and understand what he wants is telling him what you want.
You could write a note, and explain why you havn't seen him despite him offering. This is the mature thing to do, and in this note also say your relationship intentions.
If he wants to continue seein you knowing all this, then he'll get in touch. If not,then obviously he wont get in touch because his intentions were different to yours. In this case move on and find someone who wants the same things from a relationship as you. If you push to see someone who wants different thigns as you, the relationships not likely to last.
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