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Boyfriend's family.
So I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half. Recently his family has been questioning are relationship and talking him into ending it. There is a big age difference between us. 10 years. I'm 21 and he's 31. It has worked so far up until now. But I think he's taking their side. My personality is a little quirky and open. Well I texted his brother back and fourth for some time, I always thought it went well. But he told my boyfriend yesterday I was really weird and he shouldn't trust me or date me anymore. I can't even explain how hurt I felt. But then to make matters even worse, My boyfriend didn't even stand up for me. He lectured me on how when I meet people I have to act different and normal until I really know them. I can understand where he is coming from but I am comfortable being me. I am so hurt he wants me to change how and who I am. Am I overreacting? Has anyone else been in my position? I can use any advice on what I should do.
Thanks in advanced :)
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Anytime someone tells you that you need to act or be someone you are not; that should be a big red flag for you or at the very least a yellow flag that you need to be more cautious with this relationship.
It could be that he is just tired of having his family jumping him for the relationship he is having with you. This is not a reason to ask you to change who and what you are. He is supposed to be in love with you. If he should be asking anyone to change it should be his family.
I understand that you are hurt and you have every right to be. This is one of the problems with such a large difference in your ages. There is nothing wrong with the difference in your ages. You are both mature adults able to make up your own minds. No one not even family members should be riding either one of you on your choice of who you wish to date or marry for that matter. If you ask for their advice it is a different situation. Unsolicited advice is usually never welcome as it appears is your situation.
The best advice I can offer you is to stop. Reevaluate your relationship with this man and see how this present situation may effect any future you may wish to have with him. This is a deep soul searching type of thing I am asking you to do. For no matter how much you may love him now. What is happening now will continue too effect your lives together for as long as you two are together. Think about how hurt you are now. Then think about how this hurt could grow if you continue a relationship with him.
I am not suggesting you end this relationship. That is not my call to make. I am asking you to take some time and give this relationship some serious thought as to where you want it to go and how this present situation will effect your lives if in fact you get where you want to go with this relationship.
I do not think his family will ever change. You will either have to learn to live with this or your going to have to change to meet there expectations of who he should date or eventually marry.
I'm old enough to be your grandfather and I would give this same advice to my granddaughter or my son in a similar situation. Though only you can make the final decision and I would then stand behind any decision you make and support that decision as you may ask of me.
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