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i need help with iambic pentameter!
i need help with iambic pentameter. We are writing some in class and I can;t get the hang of it. Could you help me by seeing if this is in iambic pentameter and if it isn't giving suggestions to make it be in it?
You to me is a mouse to a street cat,
together we would be improbable.
you and I? like a bear to a leg trap,
like water to oil, near impossible.
No ying nor yang just two broken pieces,
cloth cut from miscellaneous fabric.
we’re constantly fighting it never ceases,
our life needs more love and more magic.
No birds and bee’s, more lions and zebras
is the relationship that we posses
We don't mix like a man and a diva
You are a great guy but I must confess
In this case opposites do not attract
So i’m afraid i must now retract
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I found this great example that will help you understand what iambic pentameter is. [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
(in short,
An iambic foot is an unstressed syllable followed by a stressed syllable. The rhythm can be written as:
da DUM
The da-DUM of a human heartbeat is the most common example of this rhythm.
A standard line of iambic pentameter is five iambic feet in a row:
da DUM da DUM da DUM da DUM da DUM)
Now, let's go through your poem. Bare in mind, it's been a while since I've done this, but I'm hoping I can help somewhat.
You to me is a mouse to a street cat, (sounds good)
together we would be improbable. (sounds good)
you and I? like a bear to a leg trap,
like water to oil, near impossible. (this line doesn't sound right to me)
No ying nor yang just two broken pieces, (i think pieces broke sounds better)
cloth cut from miscellaneous fabric. (i'm a bit iffy on the big word. Makes it difficult to detect, but it's your call :) )
we’re constantly fighting it never ceases, (sounds good)
our life needs more love and more magic. (this one is short a syllable)
No birds and bee’s, more lions and zebras (same with this unless you're saying ze-bah-rahs, but others won't read it like that)
is the relationship that we posses (nice)
We don't mix like a man and a diva (I'm not too excited about the contraction here, but its ok)
You are a great guy but I must confess
In this case opposites do not attract
So i’m afraid i must now retract (make it "i am")
Ok, I hope i did more good than harm! Good luck!
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