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I lied and now I am stuck...
I have been in a relationship for 6 months He has accused me in the past of cheating and I have been nothing but faithful to him I love him dearly..My question is about 2 months ago he asked me if I had been with a certain someone and i lied because I am embarrassed about my past that i regret. I said no a month later he asked me about someone else I had lied but then admitted it now last night to get everything out in the open I admitted the other one he asked now he said he will never trust me and he hates me and I broke his heart and that he will never trust me so he thinks everything has been a lie..I was shamed and embarrassed about my past please help I love him so much and have never felt like this about anyone else...I am a 42 yr. female
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So he thinks you've been unfaithful when you havn't? I can see this is hard for you.
You've already told him the truth, but the thing is if these guys you were with were before this current relationship, the only bad thing you've done is lie.
I think whatever happens, you need time apart from each other. I understand that you love him, but it also sounds like he may be fairly sensitive, so time apart could clear both of your heads. Concerntrate on a hobby, your job or whatever. You need to write a note (this is what I would do), as it seems like your partner is unwilling to listen to you face to face. In this note, let him no you're sorry for lying and explain why you did it. Make sure you let him know that you're upset he took it so badly. Keep it short and offer coffee to talk things through. You see, instead of clinging on to him and begging him for forgiveness, you taking the upper hand and maturely asking to cool it down for a while and the coffee thing will make you seem like you're in control, not out of control. Men like this, a woman who can admit her mistakes.
You may be thinking this will backfire-of course there no garuntee that it wont. But I think it's worth a go, if you like him this much.
Remember, all you did was lie and nothing else, and if he's too sensitive to forgive you in the long run, then walk away. There's lots of men out there who will like you for you, and if he thinks you're a cheat anyway then don't you deserve someone who gives you the respect you deserve? Of course you do.
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