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Do you think I have been mean?
Its been nearly 6 weeks since I was told that I was not to be in my daughters and granddaughters lives. The reason being my granddaughter was having 5 tantrums a day.This started as when my daughter got with this guy she pushed everything and everyone aside even her training They couldn't keep their hands off each other not considering other people around them. She had gastric banding done has lost 50kgs and was gettting fit but this has been pushed aside. The little one needed to go to vic to her fathers wedding, this where the problem started. Firstly my daughter and her new partner had a shower together in the small cabin with me a couple of feet away yet my daughter did not apologise or think they did anything wrong. Upon coming home with the little one her mother and partner went onto canberra for a week I noticed that the little one was upset she said"I feel no one loves me". Also some other things I asked her mum if she wanted to know and she said yes. I suggested that I did not want to hurt her feeling but she could deal with hers before she helped the little ones when I told her well there was swearing at me calling me names accusing me of calling her a bad mother. I never did. She proceeded to say I was no longer in their lives and not to try to see the little one. I did as she asked but she then had a go at me for not going to the little ones concerts which I secretly went to.She has accused me of talking derogitively and having hostilities.All I've had is an enormus hurt as if my heart is breaking and I am in tears a lot.She took me off facebook and blocked me from her phone. Just today she emailed me that she wants to spend our usual christmas day together which used to consist of me being there for approx 7am open presents have breakfast and then lunch.She also said for us not to fight but why would I even though I found out her new partner totally disrespected me to the staff he used to work with. Well my son had made plans for me to have lunch at his as his plans fell through. I said to her that I made plans for lunch but could go to hers for the morning but leave by 10.45am.This was not good enough Do you think I am mean not to drop everything and go to hers? She is seeing my son on the 23rd. This is to be their christmas.I have been feeling again whats the point of going on as I really can't see this getting better I had hopes today but it is not so.
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i think she is your daughter no matter what don't give up on her which your not doing, but don't get involved with her life because she is older now to choose how she does things. it seems like she is using you.don't help her when it's convenient to her. even though she is your daughter your her mother don't let her treat u like that. because all your doing it trying to help and show her whats she is doing wrong. if you keep doing what she wants she will just keeping using you. your not being the mean one she is being the mean one. let her figure out what she is doing wrong by herself. when she realizes how much she needs you she will understand not to treat you that way. let her keep making the wrong mistakes now. but thats why your her mother your there for when she realizes what wrong and you don't deserve the bad respect she is giving you. when she gets all the karma when she notices i don't have my mom to talk to and she feels a bad relationship with this new guy and she is not getting the right feedback from her friends she will come to you. just be there for her when she learns her lesson don't go to events for her go for the granddaughter don't talk to her. your her mom teach her if you need me in life you respect me as your mother. don't help her if she won't let her help you. she will come to you when she gets the karma back and she needs your help. but don't go to spend christmas with her if she treats you like that. no no.
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