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I miss hikm. A lot more than I thought I did...
F/15
I know some of you might think i'm a little young, but there's this boy who I miss terribly. Him and I broke up about 2 weeks ago I think. We almost dated for a month and I know what you're thinking but we have known each other for a while and we have dated before. Anywhore he broke up with me because I was jealous of one of his friends who is a girl and she would always have her hands on him, she was always either messing with him or hitting him and obviously I didn't like it. One day i confronted him about it and told him I didn't like it. He told me that if I didn't like it then it wouldn't happen again. I said okay and just kept an eye on him. Well she was still messing with him all the time, but I just started to let it go even though it was killing me. One day i saw that she was on his back and he was giving her a piggy-back ride. I did not like that one bit so I finally said something to him about it. He kept assuring me that she was just a friend, but I reminded him of his promise. Then I eventually got sick of fighting with him and said I was sorry and he told me he knew I wasn't and he knew that every time he was around her I was going to get jealous even if I said it was okay. Then he broke up with me saying he couldn't be with someone like me. I was soooo sad. And lately I've been missing him so much and I know with how I am I'm never going to get him back. He doesn't talk to me any more and I feel like he hates me. How can I get over him? We used to be bestfriends, how do I get that back? Oh and sorry about the whole big long story. I guess I needed to vent a little too....
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Venting is really healthy so no apologies necessary :) !!! 15 or not, feelings are feelings, and when you loose someone you care for it can really hurt, not matter what age, or how serious. No matter what age. Some people still pine over people they haven't even kissed. I'm not saying they should go up to them, and smack them, or make unhealthy choices because of this, but I am saying it's okay to have feelings.
I'm very sorry to hear about your break up. Break ups, are never anyone's fault believe it, or not. It's what happens when two people realize that if they continue their romantic relationship they would not only be making each other unhappy, but also they would be living in unhappiness themselves. Only when two people are truly happy with themselves, and each other, no matter their habits, friends, or imperfections, can a relationship have the potential to work, but you have to find a guy that matches you. It sounds like you saw a chemistry between your ex, and his friend, that made you uncomfortable. Which it totally okay!!! A lot of girls get uncomfortable when a bf of theirs has a special relationship with someone of the opposite sex that could replace them. It's normal and a natural human instinct to get a little jealous in a situation like that. But if this happens again in future relationships, don't let jealousy morph into insecurity and lack of trust. That's one thing that will ruin a relationship every time. You need to trust the individual completely. If you still see red flags, then you have trust your gutt. Your the one that has to be happy, so if what he's doing is making you unhappy and he's not willing to change then you need to make yourself happy, even if the choice you make may be hard and painful. But, if he truly cares, and loves you he won't even think of cheating on you with someone else, I promise, because he would respect you way too much, the same way you respect yourself. Any guy that does anything other then that is not worth it!
It seems that he wasn't willing to compromise and neither were you. Maybe in the future, when he gets over it, (because, I promise you, eventually he will even if it's hard to see now) you guys can maybe become friends again, if you both decide that it's okay! You'd be surprised how things can change. But for now I would say take advantage of being single, and try to enjoy all the little things in life that make you happy, while focusing on yourself. Get involved in anything that makes you happy, hang out with friends. Get up on a weekend, and ask yourself... what do I feel like doing for me today. Your 15, so you totally have every excuse in the world to be a little selfish (just don't step on anyone toes, metaphorically speaking)
You also have to go through what I like to call relationship withdrawal, which can happen with anyone you care about, (friends, boyfriends, people you genuinely look up too) which is part of the healing process, but that's a sign to accept your feelings. Handle them in healthy ways, talk them out with family, and close friends you can trust with your feelings. Write them out when you randomly become sad then rip it up, and burn it, or keep it in a time capsule so you can open it up in 10 years and laugh. I promise, time, and self love and appreciation with a mixture of focusing on the positive and fun stuff can heal you, and help you get over him. Also accepting your feelings, and trying not to blame yourself, while taking it as a learning experience for you. But be patient with yourself, you won't realize that you've healed till you're healed :)
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