Free AdviceGet Free Advice
Home | Get advice | Give advice | Topics | Columnists | - !START HERE! -
Make Suggestions | Sitemap

Get Advice


Search Questions

Ask A Question

Browse Advice Columnists

Search Advice Columnists

Chat Room

Give Advice

View Questions
Search Questions
Advice Topics

Login

Username:
Password:
Remember me
Register for free!
Lost Password?

Want to give Advice?

Sign Up Now
(It's FREE!)

Miscellaneous

Shirts and Stuff
Page Backgrounds
Make Suggestions
Site News
Link To Us
About Us
Terms of Service
Help/FAQ
Sitemap
Contact Us


New relationship - to bring up old issues?


Question Posted Monday October 29 2012, 5:46 pm

Hi there, I was looking for an experienced columnist that gives thoughtful advice, and I came across you! I would much appreciate any help you can offer.

I'm 23/f, just met a guy while at a party that I really like. I felt really comfortable with him right from the start, like we were old friends. We talked all night and exchanged numbers and made plans to see each other again soon.

Here's the thing: I've been single for about a year now, and my last relationship ended badly -- I cheated on him. Though the relationship would have ended even if I hadn't (there were numerous issues there and I won't go into the full story), it tore both him and me apart. I couldn't believe what I'd done...the guilt was overwhelming, I sunk into a deep depression for several months. I didn't even recognize myself. I eventually got myself into counseling, made changes both big and small, and got my life back together, and now I feel like I'm at a point where I can start seeing people again. I understand myself better and I know that I could never cheat on someone again.

I think I should bring this up at some point to the guy that I'm interested in. I want to be completely honest with him, own up to my mistakes and of course I'd never want him to find out through any channel other than me. So my question is this: how can I approach this subject? When would be an appropriate time? I know I just met him, but I felt an instant connection, and now I've got this nagging on my conscience because I can see things developing quickly.

I have to admit that I'm afraid - afraid that he'll think of me how I thought of myself for so many months, that he wouldn't want to stick around to see if anything could develop between us. And I of course would respect whatever he chose to do...I have to accept the consequences of my own decisions. But I'm hoping for the best.

Thanks for reading, I appreciate your time.


[ Answer this question ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?


luckymadon answered Wednesday September 17 2014, 7:33 pm:
This a NEW relationship. A NEW beginning for you. What he thinks of you is a reflection of how you see yourself. It seems that you have learned a great lesson from your previous relationship and did the work required to change your behaviour. All you need to do is trust that behaviour.

Let go of the past. He is interested in the woman he just met, not the woman you may have been. Treat this new beginning as a second chance. A chance for you to put all that you worked to overcome, to the test. And succeed!

The past moves further and further away the more steps you take forward. Be confident in the New you and you will have nothing to worry about.

[ luckymadon's advice column | Ask luckymadon A Question
]


More Questions:

<<< Previous Question: Does he like me or is he just being flirtatious?
Next Question >>> if i am a virgin: My mom wants to take me to a doctor to find out

Recent popular questions:
Want to give advice?

Click here to start your own advice column!

What happened here with my gamer friends?

All content on this page posted by members of advicenators.com is the responsibility those individual members. Other content © 2003-2014 advicenators.com. We do not promise accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any advice and are not responsible for content.

Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content.
Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.

[Valid RSS] eXTReMe Tracker