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Here's a disappointing story...
Hey everyone! Here's a disappointing story...
I went to a friend's house today. When we got there we were talking in the kitchen for a minute or so then he told Hendricks & I to come to his room and there we watched tv with the two of them. After about 10 minutes his dad left and went to his room to watch tv because we were preoccupied, talking and he was actually watching so he left and so did Sam and then when Sam came back I laid down where he was (on purpose) & then he went over to me an asked if he could borrow our iPod charger so that he could download music onto his iPod and I said sure and then he told me he would charge mine on his deck thing and wanted me to follow him, and then it was only me and him in the room (he has a very hyper personality let me just say) and when he put the iPod on the deck he looked at me and pretended to lick his thumb then my face as if I had something on my face and as an instict, I let him do it because I trust him not to poke my eye and I really like him so I'm not scared around him, and then I was like "oh that wasn't real? I thought there really was something on my face." and he said "No =D" literally with the face and everything... Like I said, hyper. When we went back to the room, he went back to the computer and I flipped on the bed (meaning, my feet were on the pillow instead of my head and I was on my stomach not my back) and his desk is right in front of the corner of the bed so we were closer. Before this though, when I was laying on my back, he was touching my legs a lot (I'm wearing long pants :( he didn't get to feel my freshly shaved leg) so that was when I flipped because I wanted him to touch my back or hair or something else like that so I got obviously closer to him and I said to Hendricks (my brother) "I need a massage..." and this morning he already gave my mom a massage so I took advantage of that and the whole reason why I did it was because I wanted to ask Sam if he would give me a massage but I chickened out (-.-) so I missed that chance and then later on, as planned, at appropriate times he touched my nose, stroked my hair, looked into my eyes, felt my "muscles" and touched my face. Then I touched him too -- his hair, face, and arms. Then he let me use the computer so I could check my email and he kept telling me to put certain songs on and he was talking to Hendricks about some girl other than Kimberly (He has a girlfriend named Kimberly that he's been with for 7 months) and he obviously didn't want me to know, and when I tried to put the song down, he playfully pushed me and was all like "don't think you're slick, I'm right behind you" and we laughed and then I tried to get more out of him and he wouldn't tell me and to be completely honest, I don't want to know. He was saying things like, "when I go to her house..." and then Hendricks said that it was a bad idea to go to her house, and he was like "I'm not gonna do anything, but if she tries to do something, I'm not just gonna leave her hanging!" and I was saying really? You don't respect Kim at all do you? and stuff like that and all he said was "if Kim was here I would be faithful, but she's far away and we're over here." and I said, "That's messed up and you know it" I kinda got upset because I realized, I have a huge crush on a guy that says things like that...
Anyways that's beside the point. So after that, he asked me if I was still mad at him (what he meant was if I was jealous because of Kimberly) and I said "I was never mad at you for anything." and Hendricks, knowing that I have a weakening crush on this guy, says "awwwwwwwwww that's so cute, makeout!" and then he laughed and was joking. I was seriously blushing then, like extremely, and that's kind of hard to do with dark skin, right? Wrong. Anyway, a little later than this, I was saying how bored I was and he said "ok, let's go out on the balcony!" and I said ok and Hendricks agreed. It's starting to get cold out so Sam got us all jackets. Sam and I matched, and Hendricks didn't. I took that as a subconsious sign on his part because he also said something about it. He was also talking to the other girl on the phone the whole time we were outside with him so we didn't really talk, I just leaned back on Hendricks and put my feet up on Sam and relaxed. Then my mom came and ruined everything by saying we had to go. I was snapped back to reality and then about another hour later was when we actually left ^.^
When it was officially time to leave, me and Hendricks went by the door to say goodbye to Sam. He was doing the whole "no you hang up first" thing (I honestly didn't think people did that in real life...) and stuff like that, and it was just disgusting how corny it all was, and then when we said goodbye he hugged me, and I turned to leave and then Hendricks asked, "Who was that?" and Sam said, "oh, just a friend." and me and my brother exchanged looks, and then Sam said, "No, really, she's my friend, I could tell her everything. Like Melanie, I can tell her anything." Hendricks smirked, and said "At almost midnight? Yeah right, and I don't see you flirting with Melanie..." and he said "I wasn't flirting..." then I went over to him and asked for how long the converstation lasted and he purposely took a long time (My mom was rushing me through Hendricks) so for both of them to shut up and so I could be alone with Sam, I told him to leave and wait for me with mom. He did and I turned back to Sam and asked again how long the conversation was. He showed me and it said 52 minutes! I said "wow an hour?" he talks to me for 10 minutes! He said "not even an hour" he tried to make it sound better by saying not even. Then I started to leave again, saying something, I really don't remember, and he grabbed my arm. He said, "Why do you say that like it's a bad thing?" and I said "You have a girlfriend. Enough said." he doesn't say anything, so I say, "what you're doing is stupid. You're GOING to lose in the end. Karma's a bitch." then he says, "Give me a hug" and I really didn't have choice so I stepped up to one step under him (I was on the stairs leading to the front door, and I really should have been his level so I could press into him like I've always wanted to) and I suddenly feel very calm, like I'm in the right place, and he says, out of absolutely nowhere, "I love you, Melanie." I freeze. Not tense, but freeze, for a split second (we're still hugging here) and I say "I love you too..." but it didn't come out in the right tone. I said it in a "what am I gonna do with you" tone, and I meant to say it in a serious tone, pull away and look at him, and say, "Sam, I think I NEED to tell you something." But what do I do? The TOTAL opposite !!! He pulls away, and says, "I'm serious." when I actually look at him, I see a question on his face. I say, "sure you are..." and DAMMIT I DONT KNOW WHY but I turn, and this time, he let's me leave, and he's saying something and smiling, but I'm not paying much attention, I'm too busy beating myself up for what I shouldve done. At first I can't get the door handle. But then after a few tries, I manage to open it. He laughs and says "ok goodnight" and I clumsily close the door (I'm such a dork) and then leave.
Please, tell me your opinions. What do you think I should have done? Should I have told him how I feel about him? Should I let him lead, like he's already doing? Or should I tell him next time? I'm so disappointed in myself, I should have told him !!!!! The timing, mood, situation, and everything was perfect! I don't know why, but God didn't want me to tell him yet.
Anything will be appreciated. Thank you all for your time :)
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
NEVER WRITE THAT MUCH AGAIN!
I didn't even bother reading it all,
let me say this,
keep your feelings to youself.
'god' doesn't want you telling him because he HAS A GIRLFRIEND! How would you feel if you was his girlfriend, and all this was going on between your boyfriend and another girl?
If he is going to flirt and try to mess around while he has a girlfriend, he is going to do it with you, so why in the world are you wasting your time??
LEAVE HIM ALONE. MOVE ON.
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