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I want to get back together with a cheating ex
Several months ago, my boyfriend and I broke up due to his infidelity (he kissed another girl, did not have sex with her). I've grown to forgive him for his ways, and a part of me would like to give our relationship another shot. He broke up with me so I'm unsure if he would even be willing to give us another chance or if he's still attracted to me. How should I go about trying to re-ignite the spark? Am I an idiot that should just move on completely? PS 19.f.
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First of all, you are NOT an idiot. Not at all.
It is completely normal to wish to get back together with an ex, no matter how much of a scumbag they are or not.
This hit home for me, what girl hasn't forgiven an ex for something crummy they have done?
There is nothing wrong with you, but I would definitely advise you to move on. You are MUCH better than that.
If this guy didn't realize how fantastic you were the first time, what makes you think he has changed? If he cheated on you, and then dumped you, he is the one missing out.
Whether he still finds you attractive or not is irrelevant. You don't even want his attention at this point.
You deserve a guy who is only going to want to kiss YOU and to keep YOU in his life. Not someone’s second choice or "do-over.”
This guy may have been great, but like I've said on here before, "just because two people are great people separately, does not always mean they are great together as a couple or even friends."
I say focus on you right now. Stop missing the loser who kissed another girl while he was supposed to be in a committed relationship with you, and turn yourself into the most fabulous version of you that you can be.
Throw yourself into your career/school. Go out with friends, have new adventures try new things, spend time with family, volunteer, lose some weight, gain some weight, take up yoga, go to an animal shelter (the dogs there are way better than the one you knew.) Find out who you are and what you love. Build yourself up and focus on other things besides this messy relationship and I swear a MUCH better guy will come along.
I know this is not really, what you asked, you want to know how to get back with him, but from personal experience of a recent break up myself. He's just not worth it.
It's good that you have forgiven him, but don't forget what he did.
Ask yourself this: If my best friend in the whole world, or younger sibling came to me and said, "I want to make a move on the guy that cheated on me, dumped me, and broke my heart to get him back." What would you tell them? Would you want to see someone you love so much to get back into a relationship where they weren't respected the first time? Or, would you tell them how AMAZING they are and that even though people can change and there are some incredible people in this world, that cheating jerk was NOT an amazing person for them?
Just food for thought here. You are amazing and you deserve happiness. Why settle?
Keep the forgiveness, but drop the guy. :)
You are nineteen, not too much younger than I am, we have a lot of growing to do, and it is highly UNlikely that you will not meet another, better guy soon. :)
Hope I could help a little. Good luck! :)
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