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Switching from hate to love
I used to date this guy last year off and on. Then, we broke up and stopped dating for a few weeks. One day, he said something really mean to someone and I got really mad. We got into a huge fight. Now, in September, I still have feelings for him and I don't know what to do. He hates me because of our huge fight and he ignores me or insults me. I know it seems wrong of him but I was kinda rude to him too. But the fight was many months ago. I'm ready to forgive him. I wish he would forgive me. Apoligizing isn't going to work though. No explanation needed. I want to go steady with him a lot. I've liked him since 4th grade!I hate to ask for a complicated answer but I do adore him a lot. And I'd do (almost) anything to win him over. I hate fighting, and I hate arguements.Advice?
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I can honestly say from personal experience, you cannot make people forgive.
It doesn't matter if it's to forgive you, themselves, or someone else. Unfortunately, it’s not possible.
If you apologize and if time has gone by, and talking things out is not an option, in my opinion there isn't anything anyone can tell you to do that will MAKE him forgive.
It's good that you have because you are the only person who can control you. It's unhealthy to walk around with hate and holding a grudge.
I'm sorry that he isn't willing to let go but if you truly feel there is no getting through to him by asking him if you guys can talk, or writing him a letter just explaining or SOMETHING, then no one can force him.
IN MY OPINION ONLY: it's better to keep the forgiveness for yourself and do your best to move on. It's normal and okay to miss him like crazy and want him back, but you can't make people like or love you.
If this guy isn't willing to forgive and realize how awesome you are, then truthfully he is not worth your time.
There is a saying that "just because two people may be GREAT does not mean they are great together."
It's okay that you realize how awesome he is, but if he can't see how amazing you are then it's just not worth it.
I know this is exactly NOT what you wanted to hear and you may get upset, but I promise you I don't mean it to offend or make you angry.
I don't know how old you are but if you were my younger sister (which I have told her the same thing as I'm telling you) or even if you were my friend I'd say the exact same thing. I'd say it to any one that I truly cared about. Not to hurt but so that you see how incredible you and see that if he isn't going to come around on his own, it's time to pick up and find a guy who is better suited FOR YOU, because if he can't forgive, it's obviously not him. :)
I know it's hard when you've liked someone for such a long time, but I guarantee there is a better guy out there for you, and in ten years, this guy won't hurt you so much. :)
If you do get him to talk, write him a letter, text, call, e-mail, facebook, etc. the only thing I can say is to let him know that you apologize for the way the situation panned out. Let him know you forgive him and hope he can find it in his heart to forgive you. That you don't want to walk around not liking each other because of what you once shared and chalk it up to being young OR a learning experience (since I don't know how old you are). I hope that he'll respond in some way. Other than that, if it's not going to happen if he doesn't respond or if he does in a negative way, you have to let him go and understand he'll have to come around on his own time or not at all.
Again, I hope I could give a different perspective or help in some way. In addition, again, sorry if this made you angry. I just think people deserve happiness and this guy not forgiving you or even letting you talk to him about what happened isn't happiness. If you are still adamant about finding a way to get him to talk, good luck. I do hope he comes around, but if he doesn't, don't forget how awesome you are.
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