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stuck up river without a paddle
I am 28 years old, a single mom to a 3 y/o boy. I dont get help from his father.
I recently met a guy through my friend while on vacation in AL. I live in IL he lives in AL. I met him in July and August when I went back for my friends wedding, we ended up messing around. This guy is going into the Navy at the end of the month, has told me prior to our fling that he didnt want kids and wanted to see the world. We've been talking until a week ago. I dont know why he wont respond to my txt/calls. Last thing he even said to me was that he was ready to get off work. So I dont know whats going on but since he wont reply, how do I go about telling him that I am pregnant? Ive been on birth control since July and I just took the test today. I dont know what to do. I have to keep my options open because I am the only income for my Son and I. I dont want to do anything drastic yet considering I dont know what he will say or do considering he doesnt know me very well. We did use a condom, but it broke but I didnt think anything of it considering I am/was on the pill. I am at a loss of words and I feel like I am up river without a paddle. ADVICE PLEASE!
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I was not quite sure at the end of which month you meant so I decided to go the cautious route and figure it was the end of July or August as it appeared that is what you meant.
It appears from your writing he is avoiding you. It may be he is aware that you are pregnant and that he is the father. If so he may feel this will hurt his chances of enlistment.
To answer your question there are two possible ways you can do this. If you can if you know his address send him a registered letter. This has to be signed for and it is legal verification that he has received your letter. The other way is to have a lawyer send him a letter advising him he is about to become a father.
I suggest you chose one or the other although I would at this point suggest the lawyers letter in preparation for any legal action you may wish to take. Should you be unsuccessful in contacting him prior to him entering the Navy then follow my original advise.
Actually in this instance you have much more than a paddle, you have the entire Navy to help you.
If he has entered the Navy one of the reasons he has not responded is that while in Basic and Advanced training he is most like restricted from access to the Internet and devises such as cell phones. Still you can contact him through the Navy. The Navy will also see to it that as long as he is in the Navy that he provides the proper support for you and his child.
You start by going to the nearest Navy recruiting station and speaking with a Navy Recruiter. The recruiter will put you in touch with the proper chain of command to locate him and to see to it that the proper allotments from his pay are provided to you as well as dependent health care and commissary privileges.
This is fine for as long as his enlistment in the Navy lasts. You also need to contact a lawyer to see to it the proper legal papers are drawn up so that when he returns to civilian life he continues to maintain his support for his child. Something you also need to do for the support of your 3 year old son.
No father can walk away from their responsibilities to the children the sire. The long arm of the Federal Tax collector can reach out and grab them once the proper paper work is done and filed in the proper courts.
Right now as far as this man is concerned the Navy will see to it he does the right thing. For your son you need to see a lawyer and have the proper paperwork filed in court. Then you can have the proper law enforcement agencies and the Federal Government reach out and snatch his purse.
For your part after filing the papers and after contacting the Navy you may be requested to prove paternity. For your 3 year old that is a simple swabbing of the cheek of his mouth. For the child you are pregnant with you may have to wait until it is born and the same swabbing can be done.
NOTE: Should you not get the help you need from the Recruiter; call your Congressman's Office for assistance as this is something they can help with.
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