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Everything is depressing I just want to sleep and never wake up.
Okay ,so please any and every thought/ possible solutions I need! I'm depressed af! I hate myself more than I've EVER hated anyone In my life. My mom is having twins ,and I already have two older sisters that are really frikin mean . And when I say mean I mean mean! Abusive mean kay. And the other one just takes all my bf's away from me. And we're moving. again . To SC . And I'm afraid that everything is just Gunna be the same. And right now I'm really really lonely. Everybody Forgot about me or moved on worth their lives , ever since I got expelled from dropping a jolly rancher hard candy into a teachers drink because people dared me too and i just wanted to impress them, ya know?then the same people told on me, which I went to court 5 times ,had to have
My family get an attorney which cost $3000 .we couldn't afford that . We're trying to move and do this and do that And have babies. And I also got expelled . Now it's supposedly "over with". But, it's not because I'm on probation. And now I just feel so frikin mad at the world. And I feel worthless and hopeless and useless . I feel like a piece of nothing , already dead inside . Like I'm here just to take up room. Even though I help and clean and cook and am good. But, I just can't get up to do anything . I just want to sleep and never wake up. And I definitely hate myself because I can't even kill myself ! It just doesn't frikin work . I try hanging myself and I slowly pass, then I just wake up with a huge headache ! I'm like are you serious?! And there is not a single guy wanting to love me or be with me. And my only friend I was allowed to hang out with that I trusted, was a narcissistic, pedifile, pervert . Now I'm completely alone! How could I ever be so lonely, so hopeless? I never imagined life like this. And I also am not scared of dying but having to be without my mom and of my loved ones dying from doomsday . It's supposed to be coming soon isn't it?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Email me u might want to hear my story:)
melanielovesdylanobrien@gmail.com
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Sounds like you're having a really rough time. Feeling alone is never a good thing to experience. But moving can have its benefits. See it as a fresh start. Maybe not from the home situation, but for finding new friends. Are there any sports/clubs/groups you can join? That's a good way to make loyal friends who can ease the lonliness.
I had a lot of times where I felt alone too, and I ended up making friends with a few girls online who really helped me during the difficult moments. I know its not the same as having someone near you physically, but even having someone to chat with on a regular basis makes it easier. Especially if joining clubs/sports isn't realistic.
Your home situation sounds really difficult to solve, and it may not be up to you to fix anything. It may just be easier to grin and bear it until you can stand on your own two feet with college or finding a job/moving out.
More or less it sounds like all you really need is a few loyal people to talk to who won't let you down.
Take it day by day, and please don't give up. And if having an online buddy sounds like a good idea to you, don't hesitate to msg me. I'd love to chat. You're not alone.
xoxo
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