|
i miss my old life - should i stay with him - adult question
ok, for starters I'm 23 yrs of age, my current boyfriend is the same age. We've been on and off for 5 years but he was my he sweetheart. We are the type if couple that everyone says you both look good together. When were good were great and in love but when were bad we try and hurt each others feeling and despise each other. He normally starts the fights and he's aware of that, but I don't walk away from the situation I feel like i need to stand up for myself, then suddenly its a game of whoever says or does the most irrational thing wins. We have been together for so long it's like we can freely say whatever and curse at each other because we love each other well apologize later and then go back to our old routine. But some of the stuff that he says stays in my mind and I'm sure its the same with him.
We've been through 2 major breakups and I'm usually the one to break up with him. But we often threaten each other were going to leave each other whenever in a fight. Now I'm states away from my hometown I lived all my life and before we moved we were fighting - though it would change when we moved in together - our fights have gotten worse to the point we fight in front of our friends and they wonder if we beat each other up at home.
I really do love him, and he loves me. We go on dates, have movie night and cuddle every night. When were good were great. But I feel myself wanting more out of life individually. He has talked to his parents about proposing to me and we TM have talked about marriage. And he has a great job with a good salary. So we could start a life and have kids. But he doesn't want me my parents in the same state as we are even though they want to move closer to me. I left my dog who is the love of my life at home first him because his dog didn't get along with mine. If i stay with him I will never fulfill my lifelong dream of being a professional dancer in California like my dad was because he wants to move to another country for his job. And i know I'm the only one sacrificing. But I don't know what's best for me?? It's not like I have a guaranteed in bring a successful dancer - its a gamble. But I'm young and I'm okay with taking that risk. But with him, I can't do the things i want and have the things i want, because its all planned out for me.
I'm scared because the linger I wait, I'm just gonna keep sinking into quicksand and it'll be harder to get out. But I'm so list. My parents want whatever I decide but it will devastate them to know my bf wants to move to another country where ill never see them again - and I'm an only child. All my friends think my bf cheats on me though my bf reassures me he doesn't all the time yet leads me into thinking he does.
I'm currently back home for a couple of days which I feel myself again and soooo happy to be home it feels like a dream come true. My dog actually cried and was so excited to see me - more than any other time. I thought she forgot about me but she didn't and she loves me being home. And so do I. But I have to go back to Idaho with idaho with bf and deep inside I don't want to. But we have a year lease which he can't pay for it by himself. And he too knows no one out there. So if i left him he'd be alllll alone. And i have such a big heart that even if I hated him I couldn't do that to him.
HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Hey girl!
I can relate to this, I've been in a 4 year long relationship with my boyfriend on and off with many breakups, you know the deal. I feel like were on the same page at the moment.
My boyfriend and i fight SO MUCH and yes, we can say things to each other because were so in love we can apologize. But honestly, it's not healthy fighting with someone so often. Not healthy mentally for the most part.
First off, you need to put yourself first. You have a dream of becoming a professional dancer in Cali, so do it. It's been your dream for how long? Maybe since you were dancing as a child? Don't crush that dream of yours for someone else.
It seems to me like you guys are comfortable. You guys play a "if i cant have mine, you cant have yours" game (like my bf). Prime example, your dog. Since he couldnt have his dog there due to problems with yours, you cant bring yours at the end of the day. You both live together and need to compromise things. YES your dogs dont get along, but we should have a dog in the house for company when the other is out or at work.
You guys probably are in love with the good times you had and are trying to hard to make it that way. You've been walking on broken glass with him. I feel like after a couple breaks up once and gets back together you broke a glass wall between you guys and both walk on it. Fights are easier to arise because you guys broke up, nothings worse then a breakup so you fight fight fight fight. But you fight because you are comfortable and know what words will REALLY hurt the other. You can say, "yeahhh fuck you", and know that wont really hurt him too bad. but if you say something that can personally hurt him (you probably know what that could be) you know it will really piss him off.
But back to what you should do. I think you should live your dream. Like everyone says, "Theres so many fish in the sea". Maybe youll find someone who is also a dancer while living your dream. Don't let someone hold you back from your dream, you will truly regret it when your older. I'm not saying leave him, but maybe you guys can stay together and you can go do your thing, everything you've lived for to this day, dancing. But if hes going to crush them for his lifestyle, i think it would be better to move on and find someone else.
]
More Questions: |