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dont understand the big man upstairs
Is the big man really upstairs? Forgive me for questioning that but for the last few years that i can remember my life has been a hell.i can say i grew up with a very excellent background, wonderful parents and sisters.but for some reason i am the odd one out. I feel like i am a burden, all i do is cause my parents pain and stress. My parents went through a lot to be where they are now and i feel like its my duty to satisfy with a promising future.i wanna be this idol of the perfect first born son but i am the total opposite. I prey to god most of my days to look after me and my family, thank him and help us be what we prey for but ive seen nothing...i work my butt of trying to be atleast an average student but keep on performing the worst. I just dont understand. There are so many immoral non christian people out there who dont study and walk away with flying colours and seem to have a life, this school problem has causing me pain along with my family and cost me a life. I lost my sense of humour,i feel wierd,weekends indoors studying has impacted my social life and does not pay off at all.i have no social life and suffer low self esteem i feel like the man upstairs is making a fool out of me
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Maybe give some free advice about: Spirituality?
you sound a lot like me. great family, good background, but i'm also a slightly less than impressive eldest child. my sisters get straight A's and i had to cheat my way through high school or i honestly would have failed. i've been questioning God and his existence for awhile now. recently, i've come to the realization that God is, indeed, real. he may not be the God that they talk so fondly of in the christian bible, not to me anyway, but he does protect me. you think he's not doing anything for you? you said you were born into a good family. you have your health. it may be hard to get good grades, but you know with hard work, it'll pay off.
now, onto his existence. if you think about it, the world is put together way too intricately for someone to not have been behind the wheel. we, as humans, are VERY fragile. if we're too close to the sun, we get cooked. too far away, and we freeze to death. everyone on earth, depending on the location, is not burning to death or freezing. we are the EXACT perfect distance away from the sun. do you think that shit just happens? hell no. we also need oxygen to live, and how is it that right now, we're all on the only planet that has oxygen in our solar system? that we're aware of, anyway. and we also need a lot of water to survive. and the sky drops fresh water every now and again.
in conclusion, its way too much of a coincidence that our world was perfectly put together "by chance" i don't think so. i think there is more out there. i hope i gave you something to think about. meanwhile, its all right if your social life suffers for a minute so you can get your grades together. and i hope you take care of yourself. your siblings need an older brother, even if you're not perfect.
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