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never loved always shut down
Ok so my first question for this site is.. I am never loved or accepted by friends, boyfriends or anyone except my family.. I always try to make others happy before myself, but for some reason no one likes me.. I take care of my self, I'm a little over weight and insecure depressed a lot but don't let it show... Question is what can make everyone hate me or not want me, why do they run?
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The question you ask is about others. The question you should ask is what is wrong with me? It is only you who can change and all else will fall into place. From your post it looks as if you are very insecure. When describing yourself you focused more on your outward appearance. This is but a small fraction of who you are. From what I hear from you, you are a loving caring individual. I believe you are an awesome friend and girlfriend. I also believe that you constantly try to help out your loved ones and make sure they are taken care of physically, emotionally, and maybe even financially. The investment you put into them may come across as being overbearing. You must learn to invest that time into yourself. Who are you? What do you want out of life? What makes you happy? Learn to be alone with yourself and embrace who you are. People will learn to appreciate you when you appreciate yourself.
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It sounds like you're suffering from low self esteem, and that may be a big reason why you feel so down. I can totally relate to your situation, since I used to feel like that too, and my mom has a similar problem. The most important thing is to build up your self esteem, and always put yourself first. This may sound very foreign to you, but putting others needs before yours will ultimately harm you and those you love, because you will be so dedicated to others, that you will start neglecting your own needs, and when people will depreciate your kindness, you might start feeling so awful, that you'll start acting really selfish, and nobody will understand what happened, and they'll be really mad. You have to know that you deserve wonderful friends and a loving dedicated boyfriend, and no matter what anyone tells you, or what you tell yourself, you know that you are an incredible person who deserves the best life she can have. If your friends haven't realized that, they don't deserve to be with you. Building up your self confidence will attract people to you. Always stand up for your rights, and don't let anyone treat you any lower than a queen, because you are one! Good luck and hope you find your true love soon!!! He's around somewhere looking for you :)
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