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I physically feel an ache in my chest and a burning in the pit of my stomach, accompanied by nausea. I feel jittery (probably from lack of sleep.) I haven't been sleeping well, in fact from friday night to last night Ive only had 2 hours of sleep. I'm having a bit of a nervous breakdown do to, having to explain to a unknown person on the bus about what gender I am and in their words, "why I go to extreme lengths to make it difficult to read." That bothered me the most, then I was called out to be a liar and mentally ill, as well as homosexual. Which are in no way remotely tied to the reasons I dress androgynous. I accept the fact that God made me as the sex he intended to. Is it so wrong to want to view myself as either male or female? I just feel like I'm the child that was caught playing with the wrong gender inrolled toy, and yelled at to reinforce the roles I need to take up on as being born of that gender. Now I don't want to leave my home. I feel like all eyes are on me, and like they all for some reason are either 1 disgusted or 2 disapprove. Please, any "positive" advice welcomed. I feel pretty jaded from everything, and it seems like I just worked up the courage to feel comfortable in my own skin and finally be able to dress how I want, but now in a fracture of a second it just all seized to exist.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Random Weirdos?
Be YOU! I don't understand why society is trying to make us into 'normal' people. No one is normal everyone is different. And you shouldn't be shut down because you are different. For a long time I was silenced and its only recently that I've used my voice. People are afraid of what's different. People are afraid of what they don't know. And it may seem hard right now but the more and more you use your voice and dress the way you want to the more you'll feel more in your own skin. People are so quick to judge and especially when they don't even know you. Don't let them get you down and don't even pay attention to them. I also realized life is too short for the small stuff. Good luck!
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