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Question Posted Monday April 23 2012, 8:32 pm

Hi guys, i am a 16 year old female, and i have always considered myself to be pretty optimistic. but lately i've got alot of stupid things going on and i feel like i'm in a funk. Kind of like it's depression. I am dating my brothers bestfriend, and he is dating mine (not to be hypocritical but it annoys me alot!) shes been my bestfriend for 8 years and i feel like i'm losing her to my brother, and my brother is 18 years old and moved out so i already feel like i lost my brother, and now i feel like i have lost him to my bestfriend. i just feel sad, and i cannot really leave my house to distract myself because i watch my younger brother every single day (no exaggeration.)there are other things here and there that bother me and it is all just building up and making me kind of sad. can someone just give me advice on how to keep that off my mind, so i can continue on to be my happy oh giddy self? thankyou much!

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adviceman49 answered Tuesday April 24 2012, 11:08 am:
First of all I don't think you are depressed in the medical sense of the word. In fact you sound like a pretty normal teenager going through what a lot of teenagers go through at your age.

Your parents are using you as a live-in, unpaid, babysitter for a younger sibling. Is this fair to you? Probably not. Every parent with children will most likely have an older sibling watch the younger sibling(s) when both parents work out side the home. My parents did it to me, your grandparents may have done it with your parents and you will probably do it with your children. This is part of family life in western civilization today.

In a way this is also a complement to you. For if your parents did not trust you they would hire someone not only to watch your brother. You too would be watched by the sitter as well. Now that would really be depressing to a 16 year old, wouldn't you agree?

As for the other things you write about they are very normal and something you need to adapt to as these things will continue to happen in different forms as you travel through life. Friends will go off to college. You will make new friends. These friends will take job offers in other parts of the country or marry people and hang out with other married couples while you may still be single. People change jobs and move to different parts of the country.

You really haven't lost these people. They have made new social circles but you can find away to stay close to them. But you have to make the first move. Then it is up to you and them to make your relationship stay intact.

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