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boyfriend is confused.
21/F
boyfriend 21
we both attend the same college
My boyfriend and I are in a rough patch I guess you would say. We are not fighting, but things are not the greatest. He says he is confused and doesn't know who he really is or what he wants. He says he knows he hasn't been the best person lately and he is really and truly sorry for that. He says he is sorry for putting me through sh*t and putting me through pain. He's just not sure what he wants. He says it's him and it's not me and he's really sorry and he wants me to know that. He says he feels like sh*t for making me feel this way. He says he really needs to figure out who he is and what he wants. He said to me "don't worry alright, I just need to work on me :/" I try so hard not to worry, I really do but seeing him like this kills me and I told him that. He says he knows it kills me and he's so sorry for doing that. He knows that he can come to me with anything and vent to me whenever he needs to. He says he is so thankful for me being here and listening but that this is something he needs to do to understand himself and figure out what he wants. He says he needs to do this and he needs to know what he wants and it bugs him that he can't seem to clear his mind. He says he doesn't want to hurt me and that this is all on him. Again he said that he really wants to try and figure it out but he can't seem to understand himself. He's confused and he said he is working on it and he just has to work harder to understand. It's hell not knowing but he's so worth it. I told him that I wasn't going to leave him and that I would be there for him every step of the way. Relationships are not easy but they are so worth it and I know a good thing when I see it. And with him I see it, I feel it and I know it. He says he understands that, he really does. I want to help him so bad but he says he needs to do this himself which I totally understand it just kills me knowing that he's so lost and doesn't know what to do. I'm so worried that we are going to break up over it. I'm trying so hard not to worry and be happy and not thinking bad but sometimes I just can't help it. I know that the more I get worried and the more nervous I get, the more freaked out he is going to get.
I asked him that if this summer, not being together since we are not going to be at school is going to worry him. He said that he did think about this summer and that it doesn't worry him. He said he knows that we would skype and do our best to visit each other whenever we could.
His brother and his best friend told me to ride it out, and that I need to be strong, supportive, and just give him time. They both told him that I'm good for him and we are a good match together.
I honestly have no idea what I'm really asking. I just don't know what I should do. And like I said a part of me is really worried that we are going to break up. I may just be overthinking a lot but I really don't know. :/
I know as a girl, we just like to get right in there and solve a problem and talk about our feelings and try and figure it out ASAP and guys are not really like that. I know a lot of them cannot express their feelings and they don't really like to talk about what is bothering them.
PS: I'm sorry this is so long and probably confusing but I thank you all who took the time to read this and give me advice.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Tell him I know that you don't know exactly what you wan't in life right now but that is why I am here, is to help you figure it out because that is what couples do in a relationship, they stick together to help each other out and stick through thick and thin, but what your giving me right now, you need to tell me everything on what is going on with you.
It sounds like he wants to break up with you and doesn't know how to putt it in a not so complicated way or hurt you in any other way. He's right just give him his space and time, but stay close to him because you don't want to end up loosing him. : )
Hope things work out and that you get through this.
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