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lust?
female 22 years old.
Ok to start I have been in an almost 5 year relationship with "B" & totally happy.
So my issue is back as early as middle school so like 12 or 13..I have liked "M" Sounds crazy, but just hear me out. It had been like a going back in fourth flirting type of thing between M and I for years, up until like the past 2 years not so much. Always flirting(nothing came of it) When B and I first got together, M & I started talking via text messages, on facebook, and on the phone..& we hung out like once. Mind you B & M are FRIENDS(have been since very small) (we all went to school together our entire lives) Anyhow nothing came of that either and I ended up telling M that we couldn't talk anymore that I was with B blah blah blah. And we have all kind of remained friends... WELL for the passed say 6 months M has been staying with B & I (also M now has a son and is in a relationship with the baby's mother still.)
So now to my issue...M & I have always had like this weird connection like we would kind of obviously flirt in front of people including B and I honestly LOVED it. I feel weird even typing this I sound sleezy! blah but like I have said NOTHING has come of it not as much as a kiss! That flirtiness has gone away between us, but I STILL have this strange attraction toward M. Its rather odd. I don't know if it because I WANT what I CANT have...? Or if it is this long built up years of "lust" between us..? I DON'T want a relationship with him(odd I know) I just don't know what it is or if he feels any strangeness between us.
I don't want to loose my boyfriend. I honestly could see us being together forever. I guess what I need advice on is how to go about this feeling. If I act upon there can be 2 outcomes..getting rejected by M & loosing B. & actually acting upon it M going along with it, & STILL loosing B. ORRR I could still go for YEARS more with this GUILTY feeling in the back of my mind!?!!? Its it completely odd to feel the way I do? Should I just say to hell with it and go with my brain? IDK I am lost here and have been for years!
ANY advice on this would be GREAT! & ell me how it is!! lol Don't try to sugar coat it I am an adult here and I can take it. Thanks, J
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I've been in somewhat similar situations but once I got in a relationship with someone all those feelings went away, maybe it's cuz I knew what I wanted?
Im going to be honest I'm just Throwing out ideas, I wouldn't tell someone that they needed to go for B or M if I wasn't sure. So I'm just thinking that B might not be what you really want, and I also think M isn't either (just like you said you don't want a relationship with him), and that's because your feelings aren't based on caring but more on attraction.
You need to focus more on your relationship with B; ask yourself if it's really the type that you can be with forever and be happy. If it is then you should think about that when you start having those feelings for M and eventually they should go away, gl
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