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humorist-workshop
How to feel OK
20/f This is a really long story. But I'm just gonna summarize it. Ive been off and on with my boyfriend for about 3 years. We have been officially broken up since sept because he moved far away but in dec started talking again and I know that I havent been talking to anyone else since then. This boy really is the love of my life and the reasons we broke up always led back to drugs. Hes an addict but since december has been undergoing treatment and is in a halfway house currently. Ive never heard this kind of change in him and it made me fall so much more in love with him. The catch is we started talking like every night in jan and feb and it was like we were dating. Then he said he really just needed space to work on himself and find out who he is. This is completely understandable because it is what he needs to do. Plus I live 6 hours away still but long distance doesnt bother either of us too much.
Now, ive tried so hard to give him the space he needs. But Ive caved at moments and prob stressed him out seeking the attention I wanted. But a week ago he told me he was ready to come visit. I told him a weekend that I didnt have too many exams and its in 3 weeks. The problem is...he barely seems interested in me. But wouldnt a guy just leave if he wasnt interested. I have really low self confidence and trust issues due to our past and I keep thinking that maybe he just said hes coming and isnt. I mean he promised and said he really wanted to be with me. Im just scared. I dont want to get my hopes up but I dont want to bombard him until he just gives up.
I wrote him a sweet letter today and im not texting him. But how is a way I can clear my nerves and just trust that he means it when he says hes going to come visit...regardless of him like barely ever trying to talk to me (maybe like once every 10 days) I dont know. Im lost and really hurting but I really love this guy and he says he feels the same. He always talks about marriage and what not :/ I know he just needs to get his head straight.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Guys like confidence. If a girl seems to have low self-confidence and doesn't love herself, it comes off bad. He shouldn't have to compliment you so you feel good about yourself. While it's nice, you should already feel good about yourself. You should fix your own self esteem issues before trying to fix him. When I was with my ex boyfriend, I wasn't very confident. I always kind of felt like everyone liked him more than me and he was very successful in everything he did. I felt pretty average. I don't know what happened but after he broke up with me I became extremely confident in myself and my self esteem just went through the roof. It was instant. I started caring about myself. I used to think I didn't have to care about my appearance and he loved me for who I was. Wrong. I looked better, I was making goals and accomplishing them. Make sure you can do that with him. If he wants to work on himself then you should want to work on yourself too. That way you'll both be better people and can have a better relationship. Give him the space he needs but still let him know you care for him. The letter was a good gesture.
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