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Which way to GO!?!? :\
Okay so I guess people say that i don't know what "love" is but I'm not sure.. I think i do, maybe. Because I am only thirteen going on fourteen in November.. Anyway I have this problem with this boy I used to "date." it lasted seven months. And ended in september because I moved unexpectedly.. When we fought it was horrible. I always thought of him as a best friend more than anything. We talked everyday for hours. And we stayed up All night talking over the phone every Friday and Saturday. He wasn't the best but to me he was perfect.. We did everything together. So the problem is my best friend (ever since I was 5) is really.. Uh what's the word? Judgmental. Yeah she judges every book by it's cover. So she never liked him. In fact, she hated him. Whenever someone asks me about him I kinda get a little on the down side. So she gives me this whole "get over it" story. I wish you knew.. Its just not like that. He is in a juvenile detention center now.. (for running away, people say it was because of me.) I miss him so much. And I just don't know what to do about it.. I have no idea how to talk to him and tell him.. I know I'll forget him. And there's this guy that likes me.. And I like him a lot. But whenever he talks to me I compare him to my "ex" and it's just not the same. Why can't I get over him? Why cant I try and forget him like he forgot me. I could never ask my parents because I don't live with them. And none of my family (well the adults) don't like him so I never told them about him. Like he says anyway. I really hope you can give me advice about how to.. Get over this somehow? :\
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
To start off, all big fights feel harsh, having them often is not uncommon either. Rough patches happen, the reason the fights get so big is because you care so much for each other. You probably cannot get over this guy because he was your first love. Every first love hurts, for everyone. What your friends think should really matter to you, if you are that close with her then at least try to sway her opinion about the guy, the more your friends like him the better off you are. Getting over a guy is very hard for everyone, it took me an entire year to get over some jerk that cheated on me. First of all you have to nip this in the bud, or in other words: stop what your doing and listen closely. Here are some steps that will hopefully help out a lot, but you have to me consistent and keep up a even pace.
1. STOP COMPARING! You have to stop comparing him to this new guy. I know this seems hard but you have to. When you start to compare just tell yourself, no person is perfect and no two people are identical. Pushing all of these thoughts of negativity out of your mind will help with the following steps.
2. STOP AND THINK! Before you start getting depressed about the guy when someone asks or talks about him stop and think to yourself, am I going to let this tiny flaw ruin the rest of my day? Or am I going to put a smile on my face and forget that they even said anything. Then politely just say, I am not comfterable with talking about him at the moment maybe another time. It will take a little bit at first but after a while you will get the hang of it and feel a little bit better every time it happens.
3. USE THE VOICES IN YOUR HEAD! It may seem like a crazy thing to do but imagine having a conversation with him right now. Imagine telling him that you miss him but you need to move on, that waiting for him is just hurting you. Then imagine him being okay with it and telling you to go on and be free. Do this whenever you feel that you just need to talk to somebody about him, so go on girl! USE THE VOICES IN YOUR HEAD!
4. CUT YOURSELF OFF! Stop indulging yourself in the memories of him. Whenever you think of him or a memory pops up think to yourself that its a wonderful memory or thought, that you will cherish it until its value is no more, then stop worrying about it. Occupy yourself with something else and get your mind off of it.
Take your time with these steps and try not to overwhelm yourself by doing them all at once. Go with the flow... If you start and it immediately has an effect in you them keep on doing it at that pace but if you find that you are struggling then take the steps nice and slow...
Well I hope I was helpful
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