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Heartbroken: Which part of him do I listen to?
Okay so this is kind of a long story so Im going to try and sum it up. I really need help because I cant seem to get over this. So please any help to get me out of this depression would be amazing.
So me and my ex(i guess) have been off and on for a while. He has a drug problem and I love him so much that I put up with it so long and listened to him say that he wanted to change and tried to help him. I know that was stupid because I should have realized if he wanted to change he would have asked for help other than me. But thats not too much of a big deal anymore..hes been 65 days clean (went to rehab and is now in a halfway house) Hes become very very religious which probably stems from his childhood but Im glad because it gives him morals and a standard that he should live by. (Plus im a bit religious too)
Well the thing is, while he was in rehab he called me every night. We werent officially together but we both knew we werent with anyone else. Its like I fell in love all over again. His personality was out again and we just laughed and talked for hours. (we live 6 hours apart)
Then one day he told me he couldnt keep doing this because he really needed to get himself together before he focuses on building a relationship. He said that he depends on me for a lot of his happiness and wants to be more independent so he can be there more for me. Now I understand all of this completely well and think its awesome. BUT im a girl so i got a little emotional at first but later on we were laughing again.
Well everything was going well, I was giving him his space and would answer when he called but then spring break happened..We made plans to see each other and then he cancelled because he thought it would be unfair to me because if he saw me all he would want to do is kiss me and blah blah blah. Again I tried to be understanding..
Then he called later in the week and said he really wanted to see me before I went back to school. So we agreed to meet and went to the beach. He predicted it right and was all over me and I held off for a while but later on in the day I figured if he kept trying he must have rethought it and would kiss him back and stuff. Well the day was perfect and we had so much fun and he said some of the sweetest things in the world about how much he cares. But then towards the end of the day he started talking about how he forgot his cigarettes and got really grumpy. I made fun of him and we were kinda joking. But then we got into a big fight out of nowhere..
I hated that we were gonna end on a bad note and I started asking him about when hed be ready to date and when hed be able to come visit. He ended up saying just move on and i asked if hed ever be with me again and he said no. But then its weird..he changed his mind again...and im not sure if it was because i was crying or if it was his grumpiness but he said that he loved me and just needed some time to fix things with himself so that we could have a happy relationship.
Then he texted me this long sweet thing later on in the night saying how he wanted a long and happy relationship and that he was just feeling sorry for himself. And thats the last thing we said to each other. Its only been like 4 days but Im trying to give him his space so I wont text him first.
My question is, which part of him should I listen to.. I really love this kid but does he really not want to be with me or what? I have such huge trust issues with him but he always comes back and seems to live up to what he says eventually.
Secondly, do I keep not texting him till he texts me? Its really hard but I dont really want to lose him.
Thirdly, do you guys have any tips on how to make this easier on me? :/ ive never felt so confused and back and forth on like moving on and having faith in him. I just need to decide a way to feel so that I wont one minute be like no move on and the next be like he will come back/talk to me eventually.
Im going crazy here and I wish I could be more stable. Thats actually what I wish I could work on while hes gone...is being able to move on if he does leave and having confidence that I will find someone else someday that makes me feel the same.Please help me anyway. Maybe some tips on how to not feel this sad and depressed :[
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I think it's great that you are waiting for him to talk to you first. He needs to make up his mind instead of leaving you hanging. It's not fair for you. When he does finally call you, I think you should tell him how you feel about the whole situation and let him know that he needs to tell you exactly what is happening. This way you will know wether or not you should move on or continue with the relationship. To me, he seems confused .
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