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first time, any advice on how to...improve the situation? why so much pain
I hope this isnt overly detailed, but... My boyfriend and I are both virgins and we decided to have sex last week. He tried to put it in, but it wouldnt go. I was wet so I dont know if lube was the issue, but it felt like he barely even put it in and I was in pain- it felt like he literally couldnt go any further and was just pushing. I really want things to get better, and I feel like even if we practice, it wont make a difference because it literally felt like there was no where for him to push to. What can i do to improve the situation? I would literally appreciate ANY help.
Thanks
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Virginity?
em,this is a little awkward..I'm a virgin too so I wouldn't know diddly squat about this either but I do know there is some fancy em thing that separates a virgin girl from a non-virgin girl and from what I was told (unless someone totally pulled my leg) there is a muscle there that must be um..seperated or "broke":the street language or whatever calls it "poppin the cheri) I know that really wierd and awkward but maybe that is why he can't go very far and why you are in pain. but just um..talk to a doc or friends with experience in that or someone who knows a thing or 2 about this subject but yeah i think thats what may be happening in your situation..
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You may not have been as ready as you thought you were. You have not said how old you are and age does make a difference. The older you are the more comfortable you will be with having sex in the first place and loosing your virginity.
Below is a website I found some time ago when answering similar questions posed by other young ladies. I suggest you and your boyfriend review the information together before trying again.
Sex for a guy is mostly mechanical. Meaning if he gets an erection he can have sex anytime any place. As long as he has no inhibitions he will be able to complete the act with a willing and able partner.
For a girl sex is a lot more complicated. A girl needs to feel safe, comfortable and loved in order to have sex. Remove any of those three and sex becomes a problem for her. Now of course I was not there with you when you tried but I suspect the younger you are your concerns were; will I get pregnant? Will it hurt; will someone catch us doing it?
Also where you were having sex is also important. I remember when I was a teenager a lot of us lost our virginity's in the back seat of the old mans Chevy at drive-in movies. Not the most comfortable place to do it but it was the best place we could find that offered some privacy.
When your young and having what parents call illicit sex you need to find someplace you are comfortable. Hopefully some place with a lockable door and a bed. You should be on birth control for at least 30 days an the boy should wear a condom. Condoms don't stop all STDs but they do prevent some and they are a second line of defense against pregnancy.
Once you take care of you worries and provide for your comfort you should be able to relax enough to allow your boyfriend to enter you.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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