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The girl who cant get over her boyfriend again! :/
Hey, its me again. I wrote you twice already but I am really going through such a hard time and cant seem to deal :/ I hope you remember me. you gave me your email but mine is acting weird right now. But I really cant get this kid off my mind. Weve been broken up 3 months as i said but I still havent moved on. I feel pathetic because my friends are all so tired of listening to me and I dont really want to talk to anyone else because I feel like I know what they are gonna say...it takes time and time sucks right now :/
Well heres what Ive been thinking about lately..I do love him..thats obvious. But he was never good about calling me and letting me know whats going on. It never bugged me in the beginning because I liked having my space too. But when we began our long distance relationship, I naturally thought I deserved text backs and a call every now and then.I know I deserve better than that. And I'll be honest, I enjoy going out without worrying about hurting his feelings or making him nervous/jealous. AND to make it worse he lied to me all that time. So my trust was gone in him...and no matter how badly I wanted to forgive him and forget what happened...I just couldnt. So I know exactly why I couldnt have continued dating him and am glad I ended it before we completely hated each other. Now when we broke up he said that he wanted to date again in a year and just needed time to get his stuff together. And then the text message a month ago from him telling me he hadnt found anyone else or had sex..
Does this all mean that he really meant what he said? And how will I even know this?
EVERYONE says that I can do so much better and that he treated me so badly. So maybe they are right...theres a lot that I was unhappy with and towards the end I really didnt feel good at all. I wanted so much more and it seemed like he just didnt care. He SAID he cared and loved me so much but it didnt SHOW sometimes. I dont know if thats because he was being lazy or what...cause he always came back.
Then again I think of how much fun we had and how much I miss just being in his arms and spending time with him. We had some of the best times and Im not sure I want that time to be over. But I really dont want to go back and get hurt all over again. I really wish there was a way I could tell how he really feels and I wish he would just show it more in the relationship. I wish we could date again when all this is fixed. But then I catch myself depressed thinking it will never happen again...or that he doesnt even want me anymore and is gonna find someone better. Im his first real girlfriend and his only love partner.
Sorry this is so long, I jsut cant seem to deal :[ Ive never hated myself and felt so badly. I just want the confidence to know theres something out there for me. Many guys show interest I just cant move on:/
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Hi there! It's good to hear from you again! I know exactly what you mean about your friends. They do get sick of hearing the same crap over and over again; thats why you feel like you know exactly what they are going to say. It's a lot easier to talk to someone who you don't see every day.
You know, your ex isn't the only one that is like that. Almost EVERY boy I have been with and/or known is like that. No guy likes to feel like they should check in with their girlfriends, it makes them seem like it's their "mothers". Guys have big ego's as well. They feel like when they reach a certain age, they don't have to listen to anyone, better yet inform anyone of what there doin, where their going, or even where they are at. It's just how they are. The only way this thing will get fixed is by communication. Guys aren't mind readers, therefore they don't know what bothers us as females. They assume that everything they do is okay, UNTIL its brought to their attention.
Yeah, I know you guys love personal space; but asking 3 simple questions isn't going to invade your privacy.
1. Where you at?
2. How long you going to be gone?
3. Who are you going to be with?
Those three questions aren't hard to ask, or answer. It's not being to pushy, clingy, or nosey. YOu ask those three questions, and you suddenly start to feel alittle better when he doesn't text back. Once those questions are answered, you can finally leave each other alone, and go about the rest of the night. Of course, a few other nexts won't hurt either. Like the simple, "I miss you" or "I love you". Or even an "I hope your having fun baby, text me when you get a chance".
As humans, we don't like to be controlled. We like options. Ya know? By giving him the option to text you back, on his own time, will make him seem like he isn't being controlled.
So in order for that situation to be fixed, you just have to let him know. "Hey, when your gone and you don't text back. It bothers me. I just wish you could let me know whats going on, so I don't have to sit here and worry becauase you aren't texting back"
And see how he reacts to that. He shouldn't be angry, or negative towards it. He should be happy that you are expressing how you feel, so BOTH of you can move forward.
Well, I've been thinking about your situation a lot over these past couple of days; and maybe the reason why you can't get over him, is because your not suppose to? Maybe you guys are meant to be, and thats why its so hard for you. Do you want him back?? Like, would you take him back? Or are you still not able to forgive him and move forward?
Another thing I came up with, is maybe its because you aren't ready to let go. I think you want one more try with him. That what is takes with me. Like, I started dating this guy, and I was his first romantic lover, and we dated for a couple of months. He left me because of mixed emotions. I was so hurt. Everyone told me "Oh he's an ass; you can do so much better! Forget him! Just move on, you don't need him!" Hearing those words gave me motivation; and believe me I tried, but I just couldn't do it. The pain wasn't getting any easier; than I realized, "I need one more time with him to clear all these "What if's" in my head; to kind of get my closure. And a year and a half later, I'm still with him. I'm so glad I gave him the benefit of the doubt, or I would have really regretted everything.
You see? You need to either cut all contact from him completely, or give him one more chance, when the time is right. Talk this over with him. Ask him if he still wants to be with you, and how long would he like to wait. Let him know all the pain your struggling with, to let him know that when the next time comes, your going to take it more seriously, and make sure its something you guys CANNOT work out, before you leave.
You never knw, he may have really changed, and all this pain you are feeling was for nothing.
As of not showing that he cares, or loves you. Once again, its a guy thing. Some guys are more affectionate with words, and touching; and some guys just don't have a clue. You can tell them over and over and over and over again of what you want from them in that way, and it'll never click. Me and my lover have that issue aleast once a month. I know he loves me, and he cares. I just wish he'd show it sometime. It's not that, they DON'T want to, its that, they don't know how. You need to show him what you want, not just tell them.
Guys are visual learnes, not mental.
Kinda like the expression "Guys fall in love with how a girl looks; while girls fall in love with what a man says"
We are verbal/mental learners when it comes to love; and guys, they are just visual. Not either of our faults; just how we are.
This is alot so far, so I'm going to stop here. I'm assuming your going to reply back, so I'll cover the rest than, along with whatever else you need help with ok? Just try to relax for me, and calm down.
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