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what do i do about my boyfreind?
Hi well me and my bf where together for about 4 years we broke up for 5 months and well he was fine at first. the reason i left was because he was chating to girls behind my back. i left him, he was fine for 4 months. i had moved on and met the nicest guy ever but my x tried suicide so i had to stop him and said i would give him one last chance. well the thing is when we argue he gets aggresive and he never knows how to speak to me i gave all my freedom and friends up for him and i do everything to make him happy but still he has no manners i left a great guy for him now i don't know how to leave as he is dependant on me i really just sometimes feel like leaving everything behind and going to another city but hes that kind of guy he wil come look for me. he is now trying to stop with his aggretion problem but what about his manners i mean a guy that swears at you infront of anyone just because you forgot to bring him something small and you forgot because you had like 10000 things to do for him. well the other guy was nice and sweet and really crazy about me but now i'v lost him he has a new girlfriend ive also lost my best friend all my friends actually so what must i do...... i really cant take this being depressed all the time... i am 20 years old and he is 23 from s.a
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Being in a relationship like that is not healthy. For either of you. You NEED to get out of it. Hypothetically, say one day you and him end up having a child. Let's say, you have a little girl ok, she'll be raised seeing how her father treats her mother, and she'll believe that is how a relationship is suppose to be. You have to be strong, I understand it is very hard, but you also have to realize that your life is just as if not more important than a 23 year old man who refuses to do anything for himself. You have your future to think about and that's stressful enough, right? I'm going to tell you a life experience, and hopefully it will help you make a right decision.
I was in a relationship just the same as you are. I worked day in day out, he didn't have a job. I cleaned, cooked, as well as did everything else in the household and was at his beckon call.He wasn't only emotionally but also physically abusive. Every time I would try to leave he would threaten me with "I'll kill myself, I can't live without you!" and I'd be trapped again, only for it to start all over again. One day I felt enough was enough, I did NOT want my daughter to believe that you are suppose to be in a relationship where the male is allowed to treat the female like horrible trash. I finally got the strength and courage to leave him. He tried to "pull those strings" again. He thrashed about and screamed at me saying he was going to kill himself, he never did.
What I'm trying to tell you, the current boyfriend you have apparently knows how to "pull your strings" and keep you around to care for him. Also, when you leave him (I say when, because you will leave him, you HAVE to or its going to get worse) and you do move to another city or town, and if he does try to follow you or stalks you, get a restraining order. Your happiness and your life are not worth a low life dead beats time. It's sad that your good ex has a new g/f, but that doesn't mean you won't find another great guy. You just HAVE to be strong and get out of this emotionally and/or physically abusive relationship. Women in the past did not fight for women's rights just so we could stay in horrible relationships and be abused. You have a choice, you have the strength, you just need to find your courage. Be strong, and do what you know is best. Even if I'm not a religious person, I pray for your happiness and that you gain the courage to make the right decision for YOUR life. IF he does attempt suicide or whatever, it's his own weakness that he cannot properly care for himself. It truly has nothing to do with you. You are not responsible for an adult man's life. You are only responsible for yourself and any children (if you have any) that you have.
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