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Is it worth it?


Question Posted Saturday October 22 2011, 3:53 pm

Hello well I have a best friend and her bday is comming up and she is like a siter to me well i want to get her a gift but she doesnt want 1 the gift that I want to get her is $40 +tax so is it really worth it.

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Rumely answered Sunday October 23 2011, 11:30 pm:
What do you mean by "worth it"? This, I think, is the key to the problem. Would this gift be given with the hope or expectation that you would receive $40 worth of benefit from it? Even if you don't intend it that way, it's possible that her reluctance to receive a gift is because she feels it creates an obligation, either in the form of relational expectations or gifts in return. Perhaps she feels that she will be obligated to reciprocate at the next birthday or other special occaision and it's a bit much for her budget.

A gift should truly be a gift, intended to bless someone without expectation of any kind of return, even gratitude. If a $40 dollar gift is your genuine expression of your appreciation of her friendship, and you have the money to spare, then it is "worth it" at least for you.

In her mind, however, it may create an unwelcome sense of pressure to "repay" the gift either in material terms or in terms of relational transactions. If this is the case, then it's not worth it because it will create tension rather than joy.

Maybe find something cute or silly that you know she'll enjoy without spending a lot. That route may be more "win" for both of you. :)

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Xui answered Saturday October 22 2011, 4:43 pm:
If she doesn't want it then just give her a gift card for 25 bucks. No need to blow 40 bucks on someone who can't just be thankful.

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