Question Posted Wednesday September 28 2011, 12:33 pm
I feel like my life is falling apart. I don't know how I can't seem to stop it, I'm just going through this mini depression i guess and I don't know how to get myself out of it. What's worse is I really don't have a reason to be depressed.
I just turned 20, I go to a good school, and have a great boyfriend that loves me. Good parents, and I recently made a whole new group of friends.
But for some reason, I'm just not happy. There are a few reasons why I think this may be the problem but I really don't know how to stop it.
Basically I think it stems from the fact that my old friends, the ones at school, the ones that I've been close since I started college, don't really like me anymore. After I met my current boyfriend I started hanging out with him and his group of friend a lot, and they are the kind that do a lot of things together. They know how to find things to do and party together and are very fun. So I've got to experience a lot becoming friends with them. When I come back from the weekend I tell my friends all that I've done and after a while they started acting very weird. I guess they thought I was trying to brag about my experiences but thats not what I was doing at all. I was just excited to tell them about my life. In any case, they stopped truly being my friends, and I live with these people. It makes me sad that they don't treat me the same. Well I've told my guy this and he thinks they are just jealous. Now he doesn't like them, but they are still my friends and I live with them so I want things to be ok....ive tried talking to them but it hasnt worked. The fact that I have to live with them makes me feel alone and depressed at school
Also, I've started doing bad in school because of this mini depression. I dont have the motivation to study or do my work, and not to mention I have no idea what I want to do with my life and I'm feeling the pressure of having to choose soon from my parents and everyone around me.
Besides that, I feel like my depressed mood is evident in my relationship because my guy, sweet as he is, doesn't seem as enthused to be with me as he used to be. This could be just in my own head or the fact that we've been together for a while and it wouldnt be a big deal but added on to everything else going on, I'm just heading downhill and I don't know how to stop it....
it might be just a shifting of emotion and thought....but try as I might, I can't do that. Help?
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category? Maybe give some free advice about: Random Weirdos? AdviceMistress answered Thursday September 29 2011, 10:33 am: They say some people go through a middle life crisis I have however experienced the 20s crisis and I'm still going through it. It's hard when you're an adult and its hard because you feel like there is no direction and you feel a bit lost. You feel like friends are changing or aren't around so much as they use to be. People change sometimes and sometimes so does the friendship. I've had several people that I called my best friend stop talking to me for no reason or barely even talk to me. There's no explanation for their behavior. If you have done everything in your power like talking to them about it than there is nothing else but to let it go. I know you don't want to hear that but its something that you have to do for yourself. Running after them and trying to find an answer to whats wrong is only going to make you tired and leaving you feeling hopeless. I would hang out with your boyfriend and his friends but also try to find a new group of people that you can call your friends.
When I was in school I had the exact same thing. I would go to class and do homework but never have the motivation to get things done or to put my best foot forward. Heck I'm still looking to find out what makes me happy. I feel like right when I got out of high school my parents expected me to know what I wanted to do. For me my iPod is an escape it gets me away for a bit. You should find something that is going to make you happy for a bit. Maybe try to find a hobby or find a movie you like or even listen to music.
I can relate to how you feel in your relationship as well. It'll be 2 years in January. I love my boyfriend honestly I do but sometimes he doesn't get it sometimes. A lot of guys miss things and sometimes we women get pissed at them for the fact that they don't know what we want. Sometimes I don't feel appreciated and sometimes I feel like I am. The honeymoon phase is over in your relationship but doesn't mean the romance is. Maybe suggest a date night during the week or weekend?
You're not alone. It will get better just try to think positively and you will go far. Think about you and what you want for yourself and just go for it!
I apologize for the long response I just totally understand what you're feeling right now. [ AdviceMistress's advice column | Ask AdviceMistress A Question ]
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