|
Boyfriend's parents don't like me
18/f
My boyfriend's parents/family just doesn't like me. The reason for that is because last semester I was taking 27 credit hours and I worked 24 hours... His parents thought that I was a bad influence because they thought that I didn't want to spend time with his family or get to know them. Instead, they just saw what they saw. They saw him go out everyday, and he started disobeying his parents... Because that was the moment where the excitement of dating me, I was his first priority. (That's what he told me) He said that they understood part was his fault because it was his choice to go out and everything. The reason why I didn't go see them as often was for a couple of reasons, I didn't have much time. Because his family goes to sleep at 9 during that time... And that was when I usually got off work so I thought it would be disrespectful to stop by their house so late. I did want to see them, but I was also very nervous. I never really spoke to them because I was scared I would make a bad impression. So what made it even worse... Was that whenever his parents or family is gone, he brings me over to his house because he knows that his parents started to think badly of me. So that made it even worse, because they found out that I slept over once when I wasn't there. (The reason was because it was late at night, and I had a fever so he didn't want me to drive home sick) And they really disliked that. So the point is... I have a really bad impression on his parents, and I understand why. So we broke up once, and his parents were really happy about it. And later on we got back together, and he said that everything is different now and his parents said that they'll give me another chance. So I've been asking to see them, but he won't let me. He told me that he can see the change, but he doesn't think his parents will. I want to make things better even though things were really bad before. I even thought about what to do, go to his house with some gifts, talk to them, especially since I quit my job I would be able to see them more often. I was to make things better and less stressful for him (especially since he's family oriented), but he still won't let me see his parents. I remember even when I was next to him to tell his mom that I said hi on the phone... She never said hi back, she just said "okay" and hung up the phone with him. Now, he just thinks it's best for them not to hear about me at all. It gets me really frustrated because while his family and parents think the worse of me, he never defends me or tries to explain what's going on. So I'm sitting here wondering what I should do. My mom says that there's not much I can do because it's his choice to have me go see them. But we're both very stubborn... I want to still try to make a better impression on his parents, but he doesn't want me to get near them... Which makes me think it's making it worse because I don't want them to think that I don't want to associate with them at all.
He told me that when he moves out, he doesn't care about what his parents think because it'll be his decision then. (He was raised in a traditional, strict, Japanese family) But I still don't want to live this way. I want his parents to accept me.
What should I do if he allows me to go see them? How can I finally convince him to take me to see his family?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Sometimes there is nothing you can do to make someone like you trust me I know just how you are feeling. My inlaws hate me with a passion. And I have never done anything to them. My husband defends me though and tells them to leave me alone because I am nothing but respectful and nice to them and they still treat me like crap and call me horrible things and it gets depressing at times. My mother in law even came to me on my wedding day and told me that she will get her son away from me. But I have just decided to give up they dont have to like me all that matters is that he does.
I dont understand why some parents are like this when it comes to their childrens relationships especially when the person is nice and respectful. I know that I feel no one will ever be good enough for my babies, but if they are happy I will be. And I think thats how all parents should feel. They always think that no one is good enough for their babies, but they should be happy if their child is happy.
You can try to get them to like you but if its anything like my inlaws, its not going to happen. Just accept it.
But if you really want to make an effort sit down with your boyfriend and tell him how important this is to you and then when you get to see them tell them I know you dont think I am good enough for him but I love him and I am going to do my best to be all that he needs. And I am not going to come in between you and him. Let them know that you are not taking him away you are just simply asking to love him too good luck and best wishes
]
More Questions: |