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He's great, but I still feel attached
So I dated this guy for about a year, he broke up with me a few days before our anniversary during Christmas break. We've been split for 5 months it'll be six in three weeks. Well, I started dating the sweetest guy, he's my best friends boyfriend's best friend. And we hated each other, but after a while we grew close and we started dating three weeks ago. I adore him a lot and I'm so happy to be with him, due to both of our prior relationships we decided to take things slowly, we don't love each other and we don't plan on having sex any time soon, though we have done other things. He's a great guy and he really gets me. He says he doesn't want to get cheated again because the girl he dated cheated on him and treated him like shit and made fun of his religion. But when I see me ex I still feel that pit in my stomach and I still care for him, a part of me still loves him, but not the way I did, but just as a person that once was such a big part of my life. I care about him still and wish that we could be friends since we were friends for four years before we dated. I am happy now but sometimes I still dwell on what could have been. So my question is, should I bail on this relationship? I adore the guy but I feel like if I still feel something even though it isn't a lot it isn't right. But I feel like if I stay I could eventually love this guy and things could work out. I know that if I left I would not go back to my ex, because 1, he doesn't want me back, 2, I don't want him back, 3, he is leaving to be in the peace corps or something like that or so I've heard. So should I stay with this guy and try to get over this feeling of attachment to my ex? or should I leave him and continue being single?
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Dear "He's great, but I still feel attached",
The first thing you need to do here is be honest with yourself. You stated at the end of your statement that you don't want your ex back. But if that were entirely true than you wouldn't be sitting here with this dilemma.
The way I see it, you have a great guy who you could potentially fall for but you need to be with him for the right reasons for his sake and for yours. By this I mean, be with him because you genuinely like him, make sure it's not because he's filling in that void that your ex left. That wouldn't be very fair to either of you.
You see we tend to think that a new guy/girl can help us get over the old one. Now I will admit, it for sure makes the pain a little less but in the end your not really fixing anything.
My advice to you would be to make sure your able to continue this relationship with a clear head and the right track playing in your heart. Once you've decided if your in it to win it, then that should be your deciding factor. Just don't lead said boyfriend on in the meantime. You have to fix yourself before you can successfully move on into another relationship.
Hope this helped,
Braylen
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