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Gender Confusion?
Sorry if this question is long or in the wrong section.
15/F.
Ok ever since I can remember I have worn guys clothes, like baggy jeans, shirts, baggy t-shirts. I've never worn a dress or skirts or anything remotely 'girly' and when I have been made to wear them ive put up a darn good fight. So im literally your average 100% tomboy. Its just I've always thought to myself that I want to be a guy. I personally think I'm a guy trapped in a girls body but its really hard. I'm Bi/Gay I have a girlfriend she is real loving and caring and understands. I know that I'm young and my parents said I would grow out of it when I was younger but I've gotten worse... I always say "I wish I was a guy." I always would've rather had a penis and to be honest I would love to have sex with my girlfriend properly, she also wishes that we could, but we have to settle with fingering (sorry if that out of line). I get told that I act like a guy by my personality sometimes and I've noticed I get on with guys and ill get turned on my girls. I use a binding shirt to hide my breasts. When I wear sunglasses i get mistaken for a guy most of the time, infact when I went out with my girlfriend someone asked "Oh is that your new boyfriend?" Obviously I was smiling away. But I have really girl eyes so if I take the glasses of people can guess im a girl. I know that we're in 2011 and as the years go by things like Sex changes will get way more expensive and im not the richest person around. So I know that I will most likely not be getting a sex change. I know that I do want to change my name to a boys name which will most likely happen when I'm older, maybe a present to myself instead of going to the school prom. But I want to change my name, ive spoken to my girlfriend and she says the name suites me, its also been my nickname kind of since we met and to be honest she has called be that name more than my original. She says that she will love me whatever my name is or whatever gender I am so that makes me feel more comfortable with changing my name. But I still feel like people wont like me if I change my name.
Uhh... So I guess I just wanna know if anyone can give me some advice or somethin on what I should do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
You have the anatomy of a girl but feel like a boy. The general term for this is "transgender". Even if you don't want (or can't afford) a sex change operation, it shouldn't be difficult to lead a normal life. You can "come out" as male, meaning that you can ask others to start treating you/ referring to you as a boy/man. If you feel that your eventual goal is to transform physically, you can buy chest binders, and maybe even look into hormone therapy and top surgery.
Changing your name should be no trouble at all. even if somebody doesn't like it at first, people should get used to it quickly. I go to a womens college and have met several transgendered and genderqueer students, so if you have any more questions feel free to ask :)
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It seems as though what you are going through is not a phase. These feelings of being born as the wrong gender has been present throughout your life and the feelings of taking the next steps into transforming into that of a male gender, as you have described it, seem to be that its not only a want but is beginning to become more and more of a necessity for you and the desperate need for this change.
Though I am no doctor it sounds as though you may have Gender Identity Disorder: the feeling of being trapped in the body of the incorrect gender that leads to the person feeling dissatisfied with who they are coupled with intense feelings towards the need to be the gender that they feel is who they really are as a person.
People with Gender Identity Disorder (GID) often feel miserable being the gender they are born with and these feelings can easily escalate, at times even to the point of depression, they are that unhappy with who they are and who they want to be.
You can read more from this link here:
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By the sounds of things I think you will really relate to what is being described here.
Either way I think it essential that you begin to work through what is going on and really understand it all. If you really choose to go down the path of turning yourself from female to male you must be entirely sure; this is a huge step and decision.
Perhaps start with seeing a psychiatrist and open up to them. You can work through everything and you may even find that they offer you a diagnosis, that you may in fact have GID.
Should this be the case you can decide to go forward with your plans and discuss your options with a doctor and your psychiatrist who can offer the emotional and psychological support that you will most likely need at a time of life-changing events.
If you are officially diagnosed with this disorder there are things you can do. In the UK, as it is a recognised psychological disorder, patients of GID can have the majority of their treatment covered by the national health service. In the USA growing number of public and commercial health insurance plans in the now contain defined benefits covering sex reassignment related procedures, usually including genital reconstruction surgery (MTF and FTM), chest reconstruction (FTM), breast augmentation (MTF), and hysterectomy (FTM).
In June 2008, the American Medical Association House of Delegates declared that discrimination, stating that the denial to patients with Gender Identity Disorder of otherwise covered benefits represents discrimination, and that the AMA supports "public and private health insurance coverage for treatment for gender identity disorder as recommended by the patient's physician."
A friend of mine recently went through this. She legally changed her name and started taking steroids and other medications to start physically changing her body with the end result being surgery.
There are many options and variables but before embarking on anything life-changing I strongly suggest you see your GP who can refer you to the appropriate professional and take things from there.
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