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Im sorry this is so long!!!
Hi can I say that I LOVE your advice? You're straight forward and logical and you make people get a sense of perspective. I've asked you a question before but I don't know if you remember it. It's not vital to this current question but some of the background might sound familar... or not but oh well. SO here it goes.
I'm a fifteen year old girl, a sophomore. (I'll be sixteen in less than a month). And for about three years I've been really close with this guy. We'll call him Matt. (He is currently a junior, seventeen). When I say close, I mean like really good friends. Now, last year I dated this tool (one that I asked you a question about) who was a total dick to me. He pressured/forced me into a lot of (sexual) stuff and was an all around jerk. When the dick dumped me in a text after seven months and proceeded to jerk me around all summer, Matt was there to tell me I didn't deserve it. There was one night in particular that he let me cry on his shoulder for about two hours and he basically just let me spill my guts to him. I've told him stuff about me that I haven't even told my best girl friends... But at the time I only had friendly feelings towards him and he had "a thing" with another girl. When school started we both were dating other people. Around winter break though we both broke up with our S.O. around the same time. And I PROMISE it had nothing to do with Matt and I having feeligns for each other. We weren't like that. However... during winter break we started texting every single day. We continued to get closer and closer, and I'm not going to lie. I started to like him. But he would constantly say things like "you're like a sister to me". But it would be casually mentioned, like we never talked about us ever being more than friends and we never discussed our feelings so I have no idea if he even had any or if he knew I did... But since then we still talk almost every single day. He asked me to prom but we didn't kiss or anything. He is extremely flirty with me though. He has a really dirty sense of humor so he often jokes around by like hitting on me. It's all very confusing.
The thing is... I really like the kid. I really really like him. And I think its too late... He's I guess talking to this girl from another school that supposedly likes him? but is also talking to other guys? I don't really know... but they text. I don't know who initiates though. I think he knows I'm jealous... but I don't know if he knows the motivation. The other night he texted me and I texted back but then he never replied. I saw him later at a party and he was talking to a friend of the girl from another school that I think he has a thing with. The friend and him were talking about how he had texted her like thirty minutes ago and she had never replied... I think he noticed I got upset cause later that night he came up to me and was hugging me and was like "I'm sorry I never replied to you..." and tried to hold my hand and I was just so mad at him... And I just don't know what to do. Becuase this kid is liek my best friend. And I think he thinks thats all this is. Me just being jealous that another girl is getting more attention than me. NOt that I'm jealous he might have feelings for her. I've never told him how I've felt. And I thnk I'm an idiot for that. But I also think its too late. I don't know what to do. I'm scared to tell him because it will kill me to get shot down and to have anything ruin our friendship. That would be worse than anything... I think. I really don't know what to do. I'm really falling for this kid but I don't know if there is anything I can do:(
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
its never too late. hell, a lot of my girlfriends were friends for years before we started dating. you don't get surprised as much when it comes to skeletons in the closet and/or random psychotic behavior(though one of them turned out to be a crazy manipulative whacko after we started dating, but thats beside the point), so it makes the relationship easier because you don't have to worry about what the person may be hiding.
you might want to give your own feelings a good thorough audit before you do anything in order to ensure that you're doing this for the right reasons. to me, it sounds like you are. Now, when you bring up the dating thing, try to do it in a relaxed setting. that way if the attempt does go to hell, you guys can always go back to playing videogames or whatever.
"He has a really dirty sense of humor so he often jokes around by like hitting on me"
-he may be "joking around", but I suspect there is a grain of truth/desire in his jesting.
good luck
-Gunner
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