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The tale of a football player and a loner...
First off, I just want to say that I've read A LOT of your advice on here and I wanted to ask you this personally because I think that you could really help :)
I was in gym one day. We were doing our dancing unit, and we were line dancing. There was this guy that was in the front row that always looked back at me. And yes, I know it was me, because he did it in the hallway too. But I had no idea who it was. Then, I found out.. I recognized the name right away. He's a junior, (I'm a freshman, by the way) and one of the best athletes around.. you know.. one of them jocks. I immediately thought I had no chance with him. So I added him on facebook and talked to him one night. I was surprised.. he was soo nice!! haha and when I asked him if he even knew who I was he said "not really I think you're in my gym class though." I thought that was good.. wouldn't you? I mean he knew who I was.. that was a start. So we've been talking for the past couple of months since then. He's also been staring at me like crazy in school, which has been weird, but hey, I don't hate it. One time when we were talking I told him that I was good at soccer, and he said "I bet I'd beat you". All of my friends completely FREAKED when I told them about it, 'cause they thought it was a good thing. I did too, until a few days ago. My friend was talking to him and she told him that one of her friends likes him. He kept begging for hints and stuff.. but she didn't wanna give it away just yet. So she told him that he probably wouldn't like me.. we're complete opposites. He still wanted to know. Then she told him that I wasn't in his grade and he replied, "oh so freshman" and he said he knew who it was. This is the rest of the conversation: "her: so should I tell her about this or are you going to talk to her about it? him: probably not just don't say anything. her: that bad.. huh? him: no im just not looking for anyone." Then at the end of the conversation he said that he didn't even know who it was. The last thing he said was "dont want to know". So that made me upset. Obviously he knew exactly who it was and didn't want anything to do with me.. right? After all of that happened, I sent him a message that said "sorry.. thats all I can say." and he claimed he didn't know what I was talking about. So obviously he doesnt wanna talk about it, or talk to me. But he still looks at me in school. A while back, like a month ago, everytime I'd try talking to him on chat and he wouldn't say anything, he'd say that he was on his phone and he didn't get the message. I believed him, but it got old. Today I tried talking to him and he didn't say anything. Is he "on his phone"? Or is he just ignoring me like I always thought he would? And also when he said he wasn't really looking for anyone at the moment, I half believed him and half didn't. I'm pretty sure he likes a girl in his grade, he's always with her, and one of his friends said that he thinks he likes her, but he's not positive. Then I start to think that maybe he's really not looking for anyone. Or maybe he just said that so I wouldn't feel bad.. but he DID tell her not to tell me about it so why would he try not to hurt my feelings if he knew she wasn't going to tell me about it? And this was all before I sent him that message, so he couldn't have known that I knew about it yet. I'm just.. extremely lost. I mean, everyone (teachers, peers) says that he's really sweet.. and also really quiet a lot of the time. Not like the "obnoxious" stereotypical jocks are. He really is different.. and like I said he wouldn't have even said one word to me or looked at me or flirted with me if there wasn't at least a little something for me in his heart. Am I over thinking this? Am I worrying too much? Am I missing something? Help..?
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well, thank you for reading my advice :] im here to help !
so, first off... boys are complicated. i dont care how the saying goes, its not girls who are more complicated than the boys, its the boys. clearly.
anyways, to answer your questions: no, youre not over thinking this. you have every right in the world to be thinking about this and going over every little detail in your head and thinking what if or why this and why that. its NORMAL. trust me. yes, you are worrying too much and you shouldnt let this consume your life, because in a few years from now, this is something youre going to laugh about. and yeah, i think you're missing something.. i actually think youre missing a couple things;
1. you're a freshman and hes a junior. there is a big age difference.. and i know it might not seem like big deal to you right now, but when he turns 18.. it will be. this could be a VERY big reason as to why hes not pursuing anything with you because of your age. for example, when your friend was talking to him and told him that the person who likes him wasnt in his grade, he immediatley knew it was a freshman.. and he said, "oh so freshman" ... its what he DIDNT want to hear because freshman are FRESH out of middle school. some guys dont think that frehsman are mature enough for them yet, if theyre older and some guys just dont want to have a relationship with anyone younger.. its how some boys are raised and just how some feel. so age can be a BIG factor in why hes acting this way towards you now. but thats not your fault at all.
2. another thing that could have turned him off was the whole.. your friend talking to him about "someone" liking him thing. a lot of guys dont like that, youd be surprised. they would rather the girl who ACTUALLY like them or is interested in them to say something instad of getting their friends to do it. it shows confidence which is a major turn on for guys and it also shows maturity. he played along with it at first because obviously, if someone was saying that to you.. youd be curious too and you would want to know also. he was curious. but then when he figured out it was a freshman.. he got back in his "oh" zone. its not you, its your age. im almost positive of this.
3. yes. he flirted with you. telling you hed beat you and all of that was playful flirting, but it was also just that.. playful. he knows your age, he HAS noticed you because im sure youre a very sweet and pretty girl, but even though guys find girls attracted does not mean that they are going to try and BE in a relationship with that person. thats exactly why he was looking at you and all of that.. because he noticed you. he noticed who you were :] which always means that there are other guys noticing you too.
4. hes avoiding talking to you and all of that because yes, he doesnt want to hurt your feelings. he doesnt want you to feel like youre not good enough for him, yuh know ? thats why hes a nice guy.. and not the sterotypical jock. which is what drew you to him in the first place.
but in all honesty, if you really want to know whats wrong with him, you need to talk to him about it. YOU need to be the one to say, hey.. i know you know what im talking about and then tell him exactly what youre talking about and how it wont hurt your feelings however he answers [even though it always hurts a little bit] and that you just want the truth and to be friends because you dont want your friendship to be ruined because you think hes a nice guy. if youre not attacking him, he'll listen and hopefully respond :]
i hope i helped ! and if you need anything else, feel free to inbox me :] xxo. good luck hun.
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